sorta back on track...sorta

sorry it's been so long. my travels and coming home to a huge amount of work has stiffled the blogging.
lots to tell, but can't quite get the steam going to write it all out. i'll give a semi-shot though.
had a fantastic trip in LA and fallbrook. xmas was nice, good to see the fam, so good to see the friends. made me really miss everyone but glad to know they are there and they love me. i love them too.

got home to freezing NY. nice to be back to the apartment, but i've hardly left the place, having piles of work to complete. still working on one website (due this week) and had a presentation thingie for the peeps in philly on friday. almost too much to handle, but it's all getting done. pats on the back.

the weekend was filled with the biggest drama of 2004 thus far and i pray that it doesn't get any worse for the rest of the year. i can't really get into the personal sorted details of what went down, but it involved getting way too drunk, making a complete ass of myself and inadvertently, screwing up some relationships. all day yesterday i hated myself. lots of tears were shed and it was time for a little self reflection. i still am not quite sure why i did what i did. i want to blame the booze, but it may have been something deeper. working on it.

all i know, is that i've got to lay off getting that drunk. it gives me poor judgement and makes me do things i wouldn't normally do.
i don't know if it's being in NY and thinking i can handle that much booze or if i'm just having a drunk phase or if i'm being self destructive for some reason.
whatever it is, i know i have to take a step back and think about my actions before i act.
new years resolution #1.