this little piggy went home

ah, fallbrook. you just gotta love the sleepy quality of your quaint home town. there are no bright lights obstructing the starry sky at night. there are no loud garbage trucks outside your window waking you up at 7am. just lots of peace and quiet. and the older i get, the more i appreciate coming home to the "friendly village" (yes, that is what the welcome sign says).

in my older years, christmas has never been my favorite holiday. it's just a lot of unwarranted stress and consumerism and it's always sort of turned me off. and the split family thing was always a bit of a pain in the butt (from early years on). having christmas morning at one house and christmas dinner at the other (and most often some little argument was involved). granted, being an only child, i cleaned up on the presents, but there was always a strange feeling that christmas gave me. not the warm and cherry feelings they show in the TV xmas movies. more of an unsettled uneasiness.

and this year, with my dad being gone, was no exception. people always say the holidays are the hardest when you've lost a family member. and yes, it was strange not to have my dad around. but it was different this year too. instead of being separate, the families sort of melded. sort of. my mom and i went to my step mom's house for a lovely christmas eve dinner. and on xmas day, my grandma (dad's mom) joined my mom's family for dinner. so this was a new kind of mixed up christmas. and i think because of the newness of the situation, my dad's absence wasn't a total shock. either that, or it's just my defense mechanism which automatically turns off my emotions when i come home. i think i don't want to get sad so badly, that i can just shut it out of my brain. strange, huh?

i will admit that i was pretty excited for some of the gifts i received. the theme this year was all about keeping busy indoors. for my NY winter hibernation. i got the silk screening machine i was hoping for, the LOTR trilogy extended version box set, a nice pair of pj's and slippers, and tons of rad books!

my grandma decided to give me a pile of letters she'd been saving for years. they were all the letters my dad had written her when he was in the army and in viet nam. i got up early this morning, read through some of them and found a little envelope of photos of him. the images and his writing brought it all back and made me cry. obviously when the defenses are down and the memories come back, i do miss him an awful lot but he's definitely here in spirit.

the search for perfection

i am one of those people that always orders a particular caffeinated beverage. nothing fancy or special. none of these half-caf, no whip, extra foamy, dash of vanilla, soy milk, mocha-chino thingies. i just like a plain old tasty latte. BUT, i am very picky about my latte.

must be strong enough to really taste the espresso (but absolutely not bitter... the shot has to be pulled just right), nice and foamy (but not airy foamy, more on the thick and creamy side), and the perfect temperature (not burn my tongue scalding hot and not half-assed luke warm). sounds complicated, but it's really not that hard people. i spent some time as a barista in college (at a certain corporate coffee place that i choose not to name) and i mastered the art of the espresso machine. all it really takes is a certain amount of care, and that's what these crappy NY joints are lacking.

i don't know what it is about the lattes i've purchased in ny recently. they've been really really bad. they've either been way too bitter, way too hot or just not strong enough. ugh! i think i was spoiled in new zealand... the land of the perfect latte. they just got it right. every single time. i think i had one bad latte in my 5 weeks there (and i admittedly got one every single day). and the megan t hill award to the best latte in the universe goes to the vulcan cafe in auckland (amanda's fine recommendation). SHEER PERFECTION. they even made the national fern leaf in the foam! amazing.

ok, so if anyone out there reading this can recommend their favorite latte shop in nyc, please tell me. i'm desperate. granted, it'd be great if the place was on my walk to the subway (fort green, brooklyn area) but if it's that good, i will make the effort to seek it out.

nesting day

i haven't left the house today. or gotten out of my pajamas. and to be perfectly honest, i love days like this. especially when it's below zero outside (with the wind chill). no thanks, i'd rather be toasty and warm, drinking tea, cooking up the homemade turkey sausage i got at the farmers market yesterday, making xmas prezzies and uploading more new zealand pics to flickr.

tomorrow is looking like more of the same. it's supposed to be in the 20s and snowing tomorrow. brrrrrr...

the weekend was good. plenty of socializing. i'm right back into ny city living and liking it again. i kinda got into the xmas spirit a little bit: making the gifts, drinking warm spiced beverages, mingling with new people, seeing the big holiday movies, and exchanging prezzies, having drinner and playing board games with friends. all good times. and i get to see my west coast friends and family in a couple days. what more could a girl want?

in other news, terra just gave me a new book to read, which i am really enjoying (especially perfect post-trip): "tales of a female nomad" by rita golden gelman. thanks terra!

new zealand PHOTOS!

thanks to ariel, i am now a pro account user on flickr. so far, i've uploaded nearly half of my photos (about the first two weeks of my bus trip, flying kiwi).
please, feel free to check out the new zealand photo set. leave some comments and let me know which pics you like! more coming soon...

not so bad after all

been a week since i've been back home now. i was definitely feeling the post-trip blues last week. it was just cold and gray and a bit lonely and i was not happy to be home. but my adaptable self has now adjusted back to my life here in nyc. and i'm starting to be ok with it.

the first social engagement was a great ease back into ny life (thanks terra!). a few drinks at a pub with some nice conversation, into a mini dance party and chatting with an old buddy into the wee hours of the night. next day was my little movie marathon. instead of a quad feautre, i made it a double. saw "ray" and "sideways." both good. actually "sideways" was fantastic. the day after that was reconnecting with an old friend (a burnt bridge was mended). and yesterday was a fun dinner with my girlfriend who wanted all the juicy details about my nz antics. all these lovely encounters with good people have brought back some happiness to post-trip bluesy me. and of course, being able to call my better halves across the country have made the transition back well and good.

the only big prob is the bank account situation. i've decided that i'm going to try and get some full-time freelance work in the new year. bite the bullet and earn some real cash to start saving up for the next journey. i've come to the conclusion that i'm not really career girl at this time and place in my life. i've been doing the career thing since college (almost 10 years now) and i sort of missed my opportunity to travel the world (granted, i've been fortunate enough to go here and there for a few weeks at a time, but i know a month or longer is key for travel). now, it's all i want to do. i have time to figure out the whole career/investing/settling down thing later. i figure i should be lugging around a backpack and sleeping in bunk beds and tents while i'm still willing and able.

another nice post-trip revelation: i've shed one of my most irritating qualities... my jealousy. perhaps it's due to the fact that i realize how lucky I am and can actually be happy for others instead of thinking they have it better than me. this is huge! in the past, when friends would call and tell me some great news, i'd want to be happy for them but really i was just jealous (i always hated the feeling but couldn't help it). and recently my good friends have all had incredible news to tell me and i honestly am very excited for them. i can feel the difference! it's a lovely thing.

back in the saddle

so here i find myself, under flourescent lights, sitting at a hard desk, staring at a computer screen, while a cold grey sky looms outside the windows of this stark office. quite the contrast from stunning green vistas as far as the eye can see in fair new zealand.

the ride home was very very very long. much longer coming back than going over. but that's to be expected. i wasn't sure how i'd feel when i got home. i was super groggy from my sleeping pill overdose (i misjudged my intake and pushed it a bit i think). had a nice long snooze on the floor during my LA layover. and a hard crash all the way back to NY (two seats to myself. yes!). when i got into my ever so clean apartment (thanks to my ultra responsible subletter), i was wide awake at midnight, eastern standard time. did the typical going through mail and phone messages and screwed around on the computer until the wee hours of the night, sure to royally screw up my sleep schedule.

i slept pretty much the whole of the following day. didn't leave the apartment except to get much needed groceries. it was cold and raining and i wasn' t really happy to be home. besides the comforts of my lucious bed, i can safely say i'm not thrilled to be back. a mile high stack of bills (with some past due dates, thank you very much), emails from impatient clients, and this muted december sky are all things to give me the post-trip blues. but i realize travel fantasies cannot last forever. i must carry on. i must earn some cash to pay off this trip. suck it up to the man!

there must be another way. i have yet to find the way, but when i do i will jump on board faster than you can say lemony snickett. ok, one thing i am looking forward to is catching up on my movies. i've been given plenty of recommendations and i'm thinking i might take myself to a quadruple feature this saturday afternoon (sneak in style). hopefully some theater in town is playing everything i want to see.

solitude is treating me well. i have no real desire to see people or do stuff. i partied it up like there was no tomorrow in nz and i wouldn't mind if i never see an alcoholic beverage for a long time. but i will tomorrow. a couple social engagements planned. ok, i take it back. it will be nice to see certain people, but i'm not really making an huge effort to be out amongst the holiday xmas cheer.

it was interesting... got an email from my travel buddy, suz from australia. she was telling me about going out the other night. bright lights, big city style. she said how she was a bit freaked out to get dressed up and put on make-up and be with the beautiful people. said that after our nature journey, she'd be much happier in a pub ordering beers and chips. hear hear! i think that's my biggest fear of going out now. i'm in such a chilled out frame of mind that the go go go of the city is gonna freak me out. give me a monteith's orginal and a meat pie and i'm gold.

we'll see what the weekend brings...

last night

it's the last night of my trip in new zealand and i have mixed feelings about going home. first off, i'm just plain exhausted. i've really done it up the last few nights, reuniting with some of my bus tour buddies. i've been up until the wee hours of the morning the last 3 nights and it's finally hit me tonight. and when i say i've been partying, i mean i've been PAR-TY-ING-AH. whew, who knew having fun could be so tiring? ha!

i'm very very happy that i was able to extend my trip. that was a total blessing in disguise and all worked out perfectly. on this trip, i've realized that i honestly do have good trip karma. things just go my way without really trying. i'm one lucky chick.

anyway, i the reason the week extension was good is because one week ago, i was so not ready to come home and have this experience end. i couldn't comprehend going back to cold ny and getting back to work. but this extra week gave me more time to see more of this amazing country, meet more cool people, have more time with the people i already got to know, and like i was saying before, lots more partying which has made me so tired and ready to go home (not looking forward to the work bit, but my apartment and my bed are calling to me).

i can't even comprehend drinking an alcoholic beverage at this moment. i think i've got my fill for the winter ahead. i also will not be able to be spending money like it's going out of style. i'm gonna be BROKE when i get back. when i travel i like to just use what's in the bank account and not think about it too much. why should i not do something when the opporunity presents itself, just because of some stupid money? i mean i haven't been staying at the nicest of places (bunk beds for the last few nights and tents most nights before that) and i haven't been eating fancy dinners, but i definitely have not deprived myself of little luxuries like the most delicious lattes every day!

won't go into details about the little flings the last couple of days either, but let's just say i'm not going to be in need of affection/attention when i get back to NY either (filled up for the winter on that one as well). heh. i wasn't necessarily looking for love on this journey, but fun times are always fun. never have deprived myself of fun in that way either. and of course last night (my last big night out) was the night i met a real cool dude. we did some serious club hopping last night. 4 to be exact. 2 backpacker bars (which i'm totally over at this point), a weird rock club and finally the place i was looking for: the dingy, dark drum and bass club. it was heaven! such good beats and a really cool small group of locals. ended up dancing with a sweet kiwi guy and well, the rest is history. spent all day together today. good times.

i LOVE the kiwis. best people ever. so kind, generous, great senses of humor, a bit crazy, and always willing to help out a wandering wanderer. and the country itself, like i've said over and over and over... bloody fantastic (been hanging out with too many brits!). i'm practically falling off of the chair at this point from getting in at 7am this morning, but just wanted to write my final post from this fair land. i've had the best time ever. and all i want is more more more.

i will be following up with more random thoughts when i have time to digest this journey. and of course, photos. think good thoughts for a safe ride home.