dating 101

why have i never done this dating thing before? it's so good. so telling. making decisions about dudes seems so much easier. (thanks amy, you were right!!)

here's the current scenario. frenchie is date boy #1, musician is date boy #2. i had met musician before i left for california a few months ago and he had that whole cool persona thing down. so freakin typical of me to go for a musician. so predictable, but it's what i know and i went with it. we had gone out the night before i left for cali and had a lot to say to each other. he was funny, into the whole pop culture thing, knew his music (stevie wonder being his favorite won him major bonus points) and we the chemistry was there. basically he seemed like a fun guy and i was eager to hang out when i got back to ny. when i did get back it seemed impossible to find a time to get together. either i had plans the night he was free or he had some gig til the wee hours of the night and i wasn't too keen on starting this thing off as a late night booty call situation. i was genuinely interested in getting to know him, to see what he was all about.

in the meantime, i met frenchie who was musician's complete opposite. was terrific at making a plan and following through, kept regular job hours, didn't have the joe cool persona, could talk about smart stuff instead of tv shows (heh), etc, etc. like i said in an earlier post, i thought he was a nice boy but i wasn't totally sure yet.

so the weekend rolled around and i finally had a date set up with musician. he said he had rehearsal until 8 that night and could we hang out after. 8 seemed doable. he didn't have a plan either, just wanted me to come by his place and we'd figure it out. fine. whatever. it already wasn't going the way i would have liked, but i was giving it a chance. during the day, he calls me to ask if i can pick up a bottle of wine because he's too busy (but he'd pay me back for it of course). uh, ok, i guess i could do that. so 9 rolls around, he calls, says he's so tired and needs to lay down for a bit and could we make it 10? sure, fine buddy, whatever. he lives close-ish, so i walk over there at 10 at night... and his hood was sketchy. i wasn't a very happy camper.

when i arrive, no plan is made. he's hungry (it was past 10 and naturally i had already eaten) so i accompany him to get some food around the corner. after he eats and the bill comes, he realizes he doesn't have enough cash and can i front him some money. so i fork over half the bill. lovely. we ended up just going back to his place to drink the wine that i brought (in which he throws me a couple 5's to cover the cost... which didn't cover it, but who's counting?) and play a board game (which was mildly entertaining). during the few hours of hanging out the jerk takes 2 cell phones calls. and long ones! no "oh, i've got a friend over, can i call you back later?" straight up 10 minute conversations while i'm sitting there twiddling my thumbs (although he made the "i'm sorry gesture," he still didn't get off). ooo, that irritates me. basically, i was not impressed in the slightest and frenchie was looking damn good.

and let me tell you... last night with frenchie was fantastic. none of that first date gitters stuff. he came to my neighborhood and let me pick the restaurant. we talked and talked and talked about interesting stuff... politics, economy, education, etc. he's so freaking smart (slightly intimidating, but intelligence is the ultimate turn on). his phone rang once during the meal and he just turned it off. when the bill came, there was no weird stuff. like a perfect gentleman, it wasn't even a question. in my old age, i sure have come to appreciate chivalry and the old fashioned ways. he said he had brought me a bottle of wine (he brought ME wine!) and so we went back to my house to drink some and watched a movie. and i'll just say that i'm not questioning whether i'm into him or not. he totally won me over and things worked out just fine. who knew that a person could grow on you? amazing.

the funniest part about this whole dating thing is this... if frenchie wasn't around i KNOW i would be making excuses for musician's shitty behavior. and if musician weren't around i may still be unsure about frenchie. one cancels out the other. and the smart, sweet gentleman wins!