greetings from bombay

so first off, i'm a bit in shock to be honest.
i got in yesterday, leba picked me up from the airport which was
great. she showed me around her neighborhood called bandra (upscale
part of town but you wouldn't really know it), then we got to work. if
you didn't know, i'm working on her little documentary film where
we're interviewing indians about who they would vote for in the
american election. so yesterday and today we did a lot for that...
getting info together, buying supplies, location scouting, etc. it's
actually been a pretty good way to see the "real bombay" i think.

we pretty much stayed around bandra last night. went out to meet some
of leba's friends (locals) which was cool. then surprisingly, i ended
up staying out and going to a club with some of the guys. NOT WHAT I
EXPECTED. i could have been in LA for god's sake. bad techno and weird
rich indian men dancing. depsite all that, it was fun and i met a nice
guy from jaipur that owns a hotel, said he'd "take care of me there"
whatever that means. HA!! no, i think it was genuinely nice, just not
sure if i'm up for that.

today was location scouting for the shoot. that was a very good way to
see the city. we went down to colaba which was really intense for me.
i don't know if it's that i was overly tired (jet lag and staying out
late) or the heat or just being in the place that i've only seen
pictures or read about or imagined, but actually being IN IT was
pretty indescribable. i had an odd combination of nerves from being
stared at and then just seeing what i was seeing. i'm obviously having
a hard time putting words to it. i think i was sort of beating myself
up for feeling the way i was too because i was mad at myself for the
shock i was experiencing. leba and her friend sandra made me feel more
at ease when they said it was totally normal to feel this way on the
first day and to just go with it. that i would eventually get used to
it and start to see the beauty in things. and it's true. on the taxi
ride home i found myself smiling and laughing at scenes of babies
riding on the front of motorcycles, kids playing with skinny goats on
the side of a busy street, chickens flying off of tin sheds, a man
sorting out a giant stack of newspapers for who knows what reason.
just taking it all in, taking it all in.

to be perfectly honest after the feelings i experienced today, i'm
scared to go off into the country by myself. the people are totally
nice and mean well but i think it's mostly just being scared of my own
feelings, if that makes any sense. i was really allowing myself to
FEEL the nerves and discomfort walking through the amazingly dirty,
smelly streets and being asked for money from a one-eyed deformed man.
at this very moment i feel like i'm a little bit crazy for taking this
trip, but i KNOW in my gut that will change and i just have to go with
it. this is my first full day.

i don't want to make anyone nervous (mom and deb!) because i know i'm
going to be fine, i'm just putting my true feelings out there for my
favorite people to read. i have a pretty good feeling i'm going to
head to goa after the shoot to do a little chill out. i was
considering going straight to rajasthan and "get my travel" on but i
think after the chaos of bombay and the shoot, i'll want to relax. i
wonder if the people who live here ever get a chance to relax? it's
seems 10 million times more hectic that any other city i've ever been
in. constant honking horns, people everywhere, the heat, the smells.
all of it. i know i'm not painting the best picture. it's absolutely
fascinating. i was so so so tired on the car journey home, but my eyes
were maybe the widest they've ever been.

and i'm ready for more... just need some sleep.

ok, signing off for now. i'll write again when i can, hopefully a
little more rested and a little more at ease.