the hard sell

it was late in the evening and i had promised my new friend raja a tea on the roof of my hotel before going to bed and leaving the next morning. we had had words earlier in the day and i felt a strange obligation to him to see him one more time. apparently he was upset that i didn't go to see him the day before like i said i would. i tried to explain that i was a free woman and wanted to do what i felt like doing, that i was out all day and it didn't occur to me that i had made a promise to him about it. the exchange was complicated with broken english and i couldn't quite decifer what he was getting at.

i figured he tried to make friends with as many western woman as possible. must get pretty boring sitting outside a fabrics shop all day trying to make a buck.

anyway, i had spent the evening with these other two local boys i had met earlier in the day. i was planning to take myself to dinner and when i ran into them on the way to the lonely planet recommended restaurant, the one boy, adil called my name. it threw me off as i couldn't imagine someone already knowing my name in udaipur having only been there for a couple days. but then i recognized him from the handicrafts village i had been to earlier that day. we had a special bond because he had a girlfriend named megan from NY (yes, i saw the proof).

i told them i was starving and they said they were on their way to eat and asked if i wanted to join. there went eating alone. perfect. i hopped on the back on adil's bike and we went zooming through the narrow city streets, wisking past cows and goats, women carrying baskets of goods on their heads and hoards of beeping ricksaws. i was loving this.

we showed at some place that was definitely not in the lonely planet. they told me it was the best place in town for dosas but the decor looked like a bad version of coco's. terrible lighting and mismatched vinyl seats. eh, if they said it was good. we ordered and chatted. adil was obsessed with his girlfriend, showing me her text messages to him. the other boy, rajesh was a quite type but very sweet. he was an artist and also had a french girlfriend. hilarious. i got the feeling it was "the thing" to have a white chick.

after dinner they took me back to rajesh's art studio to show me his work. they insisted that he draw my eyes for me. it was too much! but quite sweet. after chatting some more, i knew i had to do my duty to have that final tea with raja.

when i got back to my hotel he was outside waiting for me. ugh, this was going to be a long night. we went upstairs, found a little table and he asked if i wanted beer. i said i didn't and didn't even want tea as i needed to rest before my early bus. he was really offended that i didn't want to drink with him but i was not planning to give him any ideas or fuel his desires. honestly at that point, i still was unsure of his intentions. it was all very muted and he wasn't expressing himself to the fullest... JUST YET!

as the minutes ticked by and i was getting more and more sleepy he finally got the nerve to confess his undying love. leba and other friends had mentioned that indian men are particularly passionate most likey due to bollywood films being over the top romantic. i couldn't quite imagine the words that were about to come out of raja's mouth and when he started waxing poetic, i just about died. laughing.

i'm not joking when i tell you his exact words:
"OH this feeling i have."
"you are not like anyone i have ever met in my life."
"you are first person to make me think."
"you see the hair on my arms, it is standing when i'm near you."
"my heart, it is pounding so fast in my chest."
"i had just asked for love in temple the day we met, and when i walk
back to my shop, i see you there. it is god's wish."
"i feel like i am in heaven right now."

it was over the top and quite possibly the hardest sell for some action i've ever heard in my life. i felt bad, but i was uncontrollably laughing. and i wasn't laughing at him... i just couldn't believe the lines and knowing that a western guy would never ever ever say those things. i tried explaining this to him and i hope he understood. part of me thought that this was the shit he feeds to every white girl he meets but i'm not so sure. i mean he was practically crying with every rejection i threw back at him. i was really trying to push that fact that i had a "boyfriend" back home and that he wouldn't approve.

that didnt' stop him. he said he had a girlfriend and everyone cheats. and who cares if you are feeling "these feelings." i was really trying to be polite about it but after saying no for about 2 hours, i finally got really blunt. i said "you may have these feelings, but i don't." a trickle of a tear. i told him we could be friends, walked him down to the door and said goodbye. and STILL after all of that, he said "you'll call me?"
JEEEEZ! what does a woman have to do to get her point across. it took waaaay too much energy but at the end of the day, it was a great story and some of the funniest pick-up lines EVER.