how i'm feeling

(written Feb. 13)

i'm surprisingly happy being back in new york. i'm taking it all day by day and so far, i'm feeling good. my work load is minimal right now and i'm gonna keep it that way for a bit. i realized i haven't had much time to explore the city and there is so so much to see and do. i look at the time out and there are a million things i want to check out. i don't even really know where to start.

i'm going to start taking a yoga class. maybe find an african dance class i like. get in some culture. that's what i came to NY for right? i'm paying this rent to be in this city, so why not utilize the resources the city has to offer? i refuse to slip into a funk, so i'm going to stay busy with seeing and doing hopefully.

i've seen a few friends here and there, but i've been having a lot of me time, which i needed. just having walks around the neighborhoods and such. went out last tuesday night and had a blast. movie and dinner with danny and then a club with lucy. we closed the bar. good fun. met a nice dude. etc, etc.

i do feel far from home, yes, but i know i have the support of my family to be here and to do my thing, so that's what i'm gonna do. i'll be back there in may to check in on them and to continue the logistical stuff for my dad. the timing of all of this has been very interesting. i realize that if i'd been living in LA still, things would have been completely different for me. i wouldn't have had a life at all. i'd be constantly going to fallbrook, and feeling guilty if i wasn't. this way i don't have to. i can continue my life and check in and i feel ok about it. for now. but that's the way it should be. life goes on and i plan to keep propelling forward.