ok, cali isn't so bad

it's going to be in the mid-80s today. i'm wearing a skirt! and flip flops! if truth be told, i'm loving this. a little summer preview. never knew i was such a sucker for warmth. you can take the girl out of california, but you can't take california out of the girl.

from fallbrook to sri lanka

not too much to report from the ol' hometown. it's been sunny and gorgeous. i've been getting a little action on my freckle tan. been working on my oh so many projects (9 to 5 baby). i've done my 8 minute abs workout every day since i've been here (though, i can't see any results yet!). i even JOGGED yesterday (no idea what got into me, but i did)! i've been watching way too much reality TV. luckily i'm heading up to LA this weekend for a little fun with friends and some musical culture. rural life is nice, but i'm already into a regular routine. i can't really complain though... i'm gonna go swimming in a few! weee...

on the other side of the globe, my dear friend wanna is working her little hiney off in sri lanka. i highly recommend reading her latest tales. pretty heavy stuff. i also want you to watch this quicktime slideshow she put together. the images are from a puppet show event they put on for the camps (it's a little large, but worth it). we're in the process of getting them set up with a paypal account so it will be easier for us computer geeks to send some fundage. i think it's a really really really good cause. the pictures tell it all. more to come...
in the meantime, be sure to check out their blog.

birthday road trip pics!

here you go

birthday weekend report

what a good idea... escaping the 30th birthday hoopla and head for the hills with my better half. amy and i blazed up highway 5 straight to santa cruz on friday afternoon. it was pure hippie heaven. kinda like stepping right back into college times. the trip kinda went that way... a theme of life in the 20s, on into the 30s and beyond. starting in hippieville (the college years... partying hard and dancing to silly music), then up to san francisco for fancy ladies out on the town (life in our late 20s... we got a little cash now and we want to spend it in style) and finishing off in outdoor safari wonderment surrounded by elders and their offspring (i'm guessing what we have to look forward to).

santa cruz was hanging with a couple of my old high school homies who i hadn't seen in ages. same old guys doing the same old things. drinking beers, smoking and dancing to really bad dancehall at a club with the worst sound system in history. thing that bugged us out was that these santa cruz kids were loving it... noodle dancing and sweating all over the place... like it was the best music they'd ever heard. it was weird. all amy and i could do was laugh and marvel at these kids. were we that dorky looking during in the phish years? yeah, i'm sure we were. scary. it was like the ghost of christmas past took us back so we could see how far we'd come since then.

if santa cruz was the past, than san francisco was the present. we stayed at this too hip for it's own good hotel. it was basically a souped up motel that was trying a little too hard. luckily the toilet in our given room broke and we got upgraded to a snazzy suite. bonus! we got all gussied up and hit the town by cab. started out in north beach wandering the streets for a good place to get a drink and a bit of food. luck was on our side again as we ended up at this amazing brazilian restaurant. and the host just happened to know about a brazilian club with live drumming for later. perfect. we made our way to a hip hoppy club for a minute then made our way down to the mission district for brazilian times. they almost didn't let us in, but when i begged and told the guy it was my birthday (proving it with my ID), he let us in. so much fun!!! amy and i were feeling really good by then and the drums were ON. such a great samba band. we shook our asses and got sweaty to the beats. a perfect ladies out on the town evening.

next up was safari west. the place was owned my amy's family friends so we got the royal treatment for free! the place was beautiful. it was set up like you were on a real african safari... staying in "luxury" tents, eating yummy bbq meals, and going out on safari looking at all the exotic animals on their 400 acres of land. very cool. only bummer was the weather. it pretty much rained the entire time. but that didn't stop the fun... we managed to make friends with some of the others staying there. grandmas and moms and their kids. we played cards and drank delicious wine from napa valley and chatted the night away. life in the slow lane. and thoroughly enjoyable.

all in all it was the perfect well-rounded weekend of fun. yay for 30! bring it on!!!

30 and fabulous?

it's been 4 days now that i've been an official 30 year old. it's not as bad as everyone's making it out to be. i can't tell you how many people told me how awful their 30th birthday was... how they mourned and cried over the transition from their 20s to 30s. sure, it's a little scary. i didn't wake up and have it all figured out. i've come to grips with the fact that i probably won't EVER have it all figured out. i just feel lucky that i have my health and my youthful looks. i think the best part for me about being 30 is that now when people ask how old i am and i say "30" the usual response has been "NO WAY. you don't look a day over 26." i like that.

one annoyance i have noticed though... the old metabolism ain't quite as speedy as it used to be. everyone always says once you hit 30, it's all downhill in terms of keeping up the body. i've always been one of those annoying people that's never really gained much weight, whether i eat like crap and never lift a leg or not. since about college, i've been about the same weight, fluctuating within a 5 pound range. i've never had to think about it. i was just lucky like that.

i'm not sure if it's purely coincidental that i've noticed the slowing of my metabolism lately... has turning 30 really added a few extra pounds of fleshy softness? or was it all that ice cream, mac and cheese and mashed potatoes that i ate all winter long while never moving my body more than apartment to subway stop? i'm sure it's both. but seriously, i've been a sloth before and i've never had to unbutton my pants while sitting at my desk! it sucks.

i decided it's high time i do something about it. nothing drastic of course. can you imagine ME getting up early and jogging? HA! nah, i'm just gonna try not to eat as much crap and do a little more exercise than usual. i'm getting a bike as soon as spring hits in ny. i'll try to get my ass to yoga more. if i don't put in a little more effort, i'm gonna turn into another unhealthy obese american and i refuse to be that person. so in some respects, getting older is a little rough.

medical mary jane

i cannot believe this. my friends in LA are getting bonafide perscriptions for marijuana! i now know 2 people here who have honest to god pieces of paper stating their "medical conditions" and need for the use of grass. seems like any joe schmoe can just walk into this so called pharmacy, tell dr. weed of their woes and how the only thing that seems to help is cannibis, get a crappy piece of paper with the doc's signature and buy the best the government can grow RIGHT THERE behind the counter (and there's not just one kind... the buyer gets many many choices)! i'm dumbfounded.

i need to know... is this a scam, or is this the real deal? it seems just too good to be true.

things are looking up

just a couple days left til i head out west. i know i was worrying about missing out on some NY goodness (spring's arrival for the mostpart) and some pending work, but it seems as though all things are working out just fine.

by some sort of miracle, those 2 jobs i interviewed for a couple days ago went really really well. both interviewers loved me and my work (woo-hoo! nice little ego boost there). both had work starting next week, which is too bad that i'll miss out on... what are you gonna do? BUT, both need help when i get back too (one right when i get back, and one starting in the summer). so it looks as though i'll have some solid work to come home to. YES! this means i can be a little more stress-free about earning a steady paycheck after my month is cali. perfecto.

it's also STILL snowing here. we had to actually postpone the skating event for the kids tonight because the weather is too shitty (the party is still happening which is good though). needless to say, i'm stoked be out of this crap weather for a while. i just really really don't want to miss the arrival of greenery (but i have a feeling spring's gonna wait for me to get home). so it looks as though my timing of this trip, which i thought was gonna be horrible, is turning out a-ok. phew!

in other news, i must confess... i love the subway! i've been riding it a lot these past few days and i believe it's the most effecient transportation system ever (when it's running properly of course). it only took me 40 minutes to go from 96th street (top of manhattan) to brooklyn the other day! and it was pain-free. no stress behind the wheel. just me, my ipod, and my insatiable fascination with human beings. people are so interesting. sometimes there is a ridiculously cute boy i can't stop staring at and hope to make eye contact with. and sometimes there's a crazy woman talking to herself, rustling through her bag, and furiously rubbing lotion on her hands for the entire train ride. mostly, i like to look at the faces. what are they into? what are they thinking? what have they been through in their lives? what kind of day did they have? faces tell a lot. and to be in such close proximity with total strangers... it's an odd circumstance. but one of the main things i love about nyc.

tsunami relief

one of my dearest friends in the whole world is presently in sri lanka, doing relief work with tsunami victims. it's amazing what wanna's doing and i'm so proud of her and her efforts. she's there with 2 other american women who are working under the International Organization of Migration. their main goal right now is to bring a livelihood back to the people that have lost everything. i realized i just wrote a couple posts back about supporting my volunteer groups for kids in new york city, but this cause is so so so big and any help you could provide to their group in sri lanka would mean the world to them (wanna said any amount will help--from $4 for a daily translator to $40 for a ride to the nearest town to bring back supplies).

i'm currently helping them with their blog about what they're doing for the people there. it's the best i can do from here, besides asking everyone i know to help contribute to the cause. if you're interested, please read their blog suba ud and see what kind of work they are doing. there is also all the information needed to contribute funds directly to their account set up in sri lanka. in the days to come, i am going to try and get local companies to donate art supplies and sports equipment to be sent over there. if anyone has any leads or ideas of where to go or who to ask, i'd appreciate it. thanks!

go figure

ever since i got back to ny after the new zealand trip and the xmas holidays, i've been sorta stuggling with getting enough work to pay the bills. i've been just sliding by, doing little jobs here and there, living a very minimal expense existence (you know, making soups, buying the cheap 1 ply toilet paper, never taking cabs, that sort of thing). in this slow period, i figured it would be ok to go to california for a bit, take care of some business, make some cash, have a little fun while subletting my apartment here.

in the meantime, i've also been frantically sending out resumes and having meetings with agencies to drum up more work. well, well, well, wouldn't you know that the week before i leave for a friggin month, i have both of my agencies wanting to send me out on freelance jobs AND 2 interviews for other work! i KNEW this would happen. ugh! why couldn't they have found me work last month, when i was broke and desperate for cash???

well, i decided i would go to these interviews anyway. it'll be good experience and perhaps something could still happen with them when i get back. besides, when i say i'm leaving for a month on assignment it'll look like i'm high demand. crafty thinking, eh? i'm just trying to look on the bright side. but wouldn't you know?

spring on the brain

i guess this has been my first full winter in new york. last year i managed to be away for the worst of it and it seemed pretty short. i didn't understand how everyone kept complaining about the shitty cold season. i didn't really mind it and didn't get the big deal.

but this year sure feels like it's been dragging. there are still patches of snow on the ground, i still have to check NY1 to see what the weather is before heading outside, and i'm still wearing heavy layers complete with hat, scarf and gloves. and all i can really think about it t-shirt weather, having picnics in the park, seeing that tree outside my window all leafy and green again and buying that bike so i can cruise around brooklyn. ah... spring will be here soon. i guess i now truly understand the meaning of seasons.

i have a feeling my longing for spring also has to do with finally being ready to meet a nice fella. looks like i have a little pre-mature spring fever upon me. that's cool. i was so anti-boy/relationship for the last 5 months or so, that i guess it's healthy to crave some attention again. and what better time to go for it then spring?!? good thing though, is that i do get to cut off the tail end of winter. i'll be in sunny california for a month, dreaming of good things to come when i return to ny. i'm one lucky lady.

it's for the children

i've spent the last couple weeks giving my time to a couple cool organizations of which i'm now involved: Inner City Outings and CampInteractive. they are doing great work with underprivileged kids around the city (from schools in harlem to homeless shelters), giving them the opportunity to have awesome outdoor adventures while teaching them to appreciate nature. pretty neat stuff.

anyway, i've been helping organize their upcoming fundraising event and it's really coming together. we're giving 130 kids from around the city the opportunity to go ice skating for the first time at the famous rockefeller center. pretty cool. so here's my plea for you to help support a kid! :)

i realize most of you reading this don't live in NYC and can't come to the skating event (or the groovy after party) but it would be pretty cool if you wanted to donate some cash to the cause (all proceeds will go to future programs for the kids). sorry to promote here, but i thought it couldn't hurt.

if you want to give, simply click here, select a desired amount, and click that button which takes you to the easy to use paypal option (minimum amount is only $30). ok, that's my plea for the day. thanks to any of you who do donate. the kids of NYC appreciate it!!!

the results are in

i think she nailed it. go margie!!
an updated version of jane fonda's "klute" hair. i didn't want my bangs starting from the back of my head. nor did i want it too carole brady-ish, all thinned out towards the back. i think what i got was just what i wanted.
what do you think??

the test of a good stylist

what better way to "move on" from a bad boy situation and feel good about myself, then to get a new hair cut? girls have been known to cut their hair when they've had a break-up--a symbolic way of "cutting the man out." i've done it before and it always does wonders for the psyche. and no, i haven't had an actual break-up, but after a year long crush on a dude i think grants me permission to "cut" him out too.

that being said, i found my cut and i'm testing my hair stylist today if she can pull it off. upon amy's recommendation, i rented the film klute last week. great 70s flick. the story was good, jane fonda's character was excellent, cool new york backdrop, etc, etc, but all i could really pay attention to was jane's kickass hair do. and this is the hair i want:



i will post a photo of my new hair when i get back to see how close it comes. mind you, i don't want the exact same thing going on... mostly just the bangs. is margie (the stylist) up to the test?

we'll find out in a matter of hours...
stay tuned.

a lesson in humility

we met in what some might say, a fate-ish way. across the pond years ago, then reunited totally randomly last year.
i've had a crush on X for a long time. a little too long. it's actually kind of pathetic how long. it started out as innocent flirtation, then a minor hook-up, and then a big boo-boo on my part. i screwed it up. and i'll admit that. but we managed to stay friends, even though i still had a crush. it worked because we didn't see each other much (out of sight, out of mind). then i ended up in a relationship and so did he.

many months later, we simultaneously ended each relationship the same weekend. weird? i thought so. he wanted to hang out right away and i wasn't having it. i had JUST ended a relationship and needed some me time. i've come to grips with the fact that this guy is a serial monogamist (not my favorite trait in a fella, but i still couldn't help my crush). after my alone time i was ready to hang out with the crush but he got all wishy-washy and flake-ish on me. i couldn't figure it out. did he like me? didn't he? i spent way too much time obsessing over the situation and creating fantasy senarios that always ended in bliss. but alas, spending time together never came to fruition. and yet again, i tried to forget about him.

but that is not the end my friends. i saw him last week. i knew he would be at said place and told myself before going not to care. stay aloof. be strong. but at first glance, all those feelings came rushing back. i was like a freakin school girl, all giddy and stupid and fumbling with my words. what the hell? i was stronger than that, wasn't i? apparently not. my heart got all fluttery as i watched him working the room. and when he paid attention to me, forget about it. i was a ball of mush.

we ended up hanging out all night long and it was flirtation central. i thought it was on. there were others there so i couldn't get the initimate details of what his current dating situation was... i just figured since our connection seemed so strong, he was single, like me. and in my fantasy world created the following day, we were going to be together real soon.

so i waited by the phone, sure he would be calling any time now to hang out. and i waited. and WAITED. was he going back to his flakey ways? no! we got along so well the other night, it couldn't be! so i waited some more. maybe he was busy or something. UGH! the waiting game was killing me and i couldn't take it anymore. i had to act.

so i took all the strength i could (it's a general rule that i never call. i'm old fashioned that way) and picked up the phone to ask X out. i thought sure this one was in the bag. i could feel it.

ring, ring.
"hello?"
"hi, it's megan."
"oh...hey."
"what are you doing?"
"i'm in boston"
"oh! what are you doing in boston?"
"i'm visiting my girlfriend."
D'OH!!!!!!

i fumbled all over myself again. i must have been bright red in the face. that was literally the last thing i expected to hear and didn't know what to say or do. so i blurted it out.

"oh, well, heh heh, nevermind about what i was about to ask you."
"what?"
"uh, um, er... well, i've had a crush on you for a while now and i was going to ask you out. so uh, nevermind."
nervous laughter.
stupid small talk ensued (of which i completely blocked out) and all i wanted to do was get off the phone. and that's what i did.

i felt like a complete asshole. never have i put myself out there like that. i felt totally defeated at the time. but at the end of the day, i understand that it's good i said it. i got it out and feel better for it. i no longer have to supress the crush. it's out in the universe and hopefully now i can really move on.

i'll just have to avoid him at all costs.

friends on holiday

i just realized how many of my friends are out and about in the world. i love that they are out there experiencing amazingly beautiful places. here's an example:

wanna in india
chase in rome
t & k in cuba (must be incognito about that one)
sara, mark and tommy in brazil
bob and laura in japan and korea

all fantastic destinations. makes me smile.
and want to save up for my next journey!

a month off

it's just been settled. i'm leaving ny for a month. mid march to mid april i will be california bound. first and foremost, i'm going to spend my 30th birthday with amy who will be taking me on a fabulous road trip up the coast to santa cruz, san francisco and ending up here. pretty exciting stuff. i think i'm at the age where i'm done with big parties. i just want a little thelma and louise action, hair blowing in the wind, driving on windy california roads and embracing a new decade of life. aaahhh...

the rest of the time in so cal i want to take care of some family business. i want to deal with my storage space full of junk. i want to try to sell some crap on ebay to get rid of my debt. i want to make a little money working for my mom's company. and i want to talk to some people about a possible new business venture.

luckily i just found a subletter for the time i'll be away (god i love this part about nyc!). rent-free living for a month. yes! not only do i get to spend time with my family and west coast pals, i'll get some california sunshine at the tail end of the east coast winter. suckers!! hahaha(evil cackle)

found vday note

i love found stuff. the found people sent out this hysterical love note that i thought y'all would appreciate in honor of sappy love day:

To: Ashin
From: Edward
Place: Library

Dear Ashin,

Do you have a boyfriend if not can I be yours. I like the way you
look and act your not like the other girls your special. You
should used your beauty more often. You are SO hot each time I see
you - you make me sweat for your love. Like Wednesday at P.E. when
you was walking, I couldn't help but look at you. So write back
with the answers.

From Edward B.

P.S. When love and peace get together it makes you

winter blues all around me

i swear, everyone i talk to is in a funk. seems as though nearly every friend of mine is going through some crazy coming into adultism... we're all nearing 30 and i think most are freaking out. who knows if it's some internal clock reminding us we're not getting any younger or if it's a society thing telling us we must have it figured out at this point and time. that or maybe it's just the winter blues creeping in, making us reflect on our laziness (i know i haven't lifted a finger since nz. ugh!). got a good feeling it's a little of all those things. whatever it is, pretty much everyone i know (who isn't on some fabulous holiday at the moment) is going through the mid-mid life crisis.

yeah, i have all those feelings too. perhaps i'm surpressing them, the way i'm good at ignoring those thoughts. but i've got a surprisingly good attitude towards the whole thing. i've sort of been looking forward to 30 for a while now. the 20s were fun and all but they were tough man. not that it's getting any easier, but i do feel like i'm happy about the person i'm turning into. well, not totally, there's always room for self-doubt. but overall, i think i'm a pretty well-adjusted woman on my way to greatness. or at least happiness. that's all we can really ask for, right? so stop your sulking and remember good things are just 'round the corner.

my corny glass is half full optimism for the day.
*note to friends: but be prepared for my bitching about life any day now. ha!!

A.G.B.

sunday night was the big brazilian carnival party at a bar in williamsburg. it was gold themed and my friend and i got all dressed up. i wasn't sure what to expect for the evening... was just happy to hear some brazilian tunes, have a couple drinks and shake it for a bit.

well, the night turned out to be much more fun than expected (with a little drama thrown in the mix). at peak hour, oh say, 1am, the place was teaming with gorgeous people, many of them hot guys. i've been experiencing a bit of a dry spell, so to speak, since coming back from new zealand and honestly haven't really had an interest in guys. maybe it had something to do with the infectious rhythms, but i was on fire last night, dancing with this cute guy and that one. it was great and i kinda felt like i got back on in the saddle.

at one point i end up dancing with a cute english guy who was just hilarious. from this point on, we will call him cute guy #1. he and i were cheesing it up on the dancefloor, making goofy faces and acting like complete dorks. my favorite! we were hitting it off and i liked him. we were just having a good time together with some friendly flirting. but soon enough, a certain girl, a friend of a friend, noticed my closeness with cute guy #1 and came up to me with a warning.

as he stepped aside, she made her way over to me and said in a friendly kind of way with a wink, "watch out, that guy is a player."

huh. i didn't really get the player vibe from this guy, but perhaps he was really smooth and my player radar was down. plus, it looked like she and and cute guy #1 were friends and she probably knew him best, so i heeded the warning and kinda turned down the flirt vibe and turned up the friendly one. he and i danced a little bit more and as we took a break, i noticed cute guy #2. #2 was making some serious eye contact and eventually came over and asked me to dance. he was brazilian, hot and a fantastic dancer. so much for #1 the player, i was moving on.

i was having so much fun with #2 that i didn't pay much attention to the fact that the girl with the warning was flirting with her "friend" #1. but as i left the club at an ungodly hour, i saw warning girl and #1, the exact guy she had warned me about, leave the club and got a car together! as i put two and two together, i realized i had just been the target of some serious A.G.B. (Annoying Girl Behavior).

when i told my friend the story the next day, she got all upset. she told me that this was something warning girl has done in the past. she warns girls about the guys they are flirting/sleeping with that they are really just players and not good for them (acting like a good friend), and then moves in on them herself! that's some of the most annoying girl behavior ever! i'm sorry, but girls should not be allowed to do that. there are unspoken rules that should be followed. and that kind of rule breaking just plain grosses me out.

what A.G.B. stories do you have? do tell. let's face it, unfortunately there are plenty of them. we could probably even write a book about it! yucky.

flickr!

finally got around to uploading a few halloween pics from last october. i know, i know.

and speaking of flickr, i think i have a bonafide flickr crush. i adore this man's photographs. probably because they are mostly lomos. i wish mine were that good. i guess it just takes practice. and it looks like lomokev has had plenty of it. but his stuff is very inspirational. makes me want to get out there and take more pics. i think i got lazy with the digicam. with the lomo you have to PAY to get the pics processed, than scan if you didn't pay to get a cd. more work. but i will do it! adding to the resolutions list "take more lomos."