i shouldn't be, but i am

last night i got incredibly sad.
i was sitting on alex's deck in his hammock on a beautiful spring night while he cooked dinner and sadness just crept up on me. this last week has been really strange. it seems like everyone's good stuff in their lives just turned bad and i'm not sure why. i was overwhelmed last week with phone calls from various people in my life who were all going through some heavy shit and i was there to listen. i guess i absorbed a lot of it and it came out last night. i just started weeping uncontrollably.

if i really want to assess where it all came from, i could give a blow by blow. my work life is hectic to say the least. i'm stressing hard over that. not to mention the move that's happening in a couple days. have i started packing yet? nope. my friend's and family's pain has been tough too. i'm always the go to person. and i'm happy to be that person. really. i think it just really effects me.

but let's be honest. last night was about my dad. i went to the most beautiful, incredible performance yesterday. it was danceAfrica at BAM and i'm so so glad i went. the dancing and drumming was some of the best i've ever seen. the vibe in the opera house was lovely. a real community event and you could just feel the love. the performance started with a tribute to the elders of our community who have paved the way for the younger generations. then they started reading off the names of people in the community who had passed on while the candle bearers all in white walked through the audience. if you had someone in your life you'd lost, you could call out their name. i called out "stewart hill" and it hit me hard again. i enjoyed every minute of the performance but when we came out, i just had this yucky feeling inside of me. i snapped at alex and felt physically ill.

thank god for the boy. he knew what was wrong and took me home, cooked me dinner, the whole thing. i felt better. but today is cloudy out, it's memorial day, i'm listening to some sad jazz and i just can't quite snap out of it. i guess this is how it's supposed to happen. randomly, in spurts. this sucks. i hate it. i wish i could just call him today and tell him how proud i am of his services to this fucked up country that fucked up his head.

my million dollar idea

so after my last post about the crazy voting on american idol, and after hearing there were 65 million votes called in last night, and after ariel sent me this, i got to thinking.

why doesn't a major network turn this year's election in a reality show, a la american idol/amazing race/survivor???

it's brilliant really. not only would it be fascinating to watch... add a little drama to seemily boring speeches, rallies, campaign routes...
it would get the voting public EXCITED TO VOTE! i always get interested in the campaigning pre-election day, but it's always so dry.
so and so candidate goes on and on about public policy, foreign policy, domestic problems, blah blah blah. BUT what if they focussed on the "behind the scenes"--an argument between kerry and his campaign manager, a romantic interest between the interns in the campaign headquarters, the bus breaking down on the way to the speech in kansas. it could be so good! not only would the dummies of america get excited about the candidates, they might get excited about the ISSUES!

and how about this for a great gimmick--each week, the public calls in a vote to see who they want to win. a real live tracking of the polls!!! so so good!
and here's the kicker... i've already got the slogan--"america votes and we all win!" and a title: "the REAL amazing race." kidding. any ideas, send em my way.

ok major network, who's got an open slot for the fall season? it's gonna be HUGE!

guilty pleasure

yes yes, i'm an admitted reality tv junkie. not all of them mind you. just the good ones. ha!
and all i gotta say after watching last night's american idol finale, is that fantasia better win!
she actually has real talent and has her own unique thing going on.
i can't deal with the sugar-coated ultra bubbly diana. i'll puke if she wins.
i even tried voting a few times last night and couldn't get through.

jesus if only america took this voting process as seriously as the one coming up in november.
pretty disgusting actually. ok, i don't want to think about that anymore. it's too depressing.

stupid dumbass

why do some (make that most) men have to be so stupid?
i say this because one of my best friends just got dumped by a guy who pulled the wool over all of our eyes.
he had convinced her as well as all of us, how great he was and how much he was into our friend.
why, oh why would he decide to end this seemily perfect situation? none of us get it. especially my friend.
it just doesn't make any sense.
she is literally the girlfriend catch of the century... i always said if i was a guy, i'd be first in line.
was it simply the bullshit 20-something excuse of not being able to commit?
well, she wasn't even asking for a commitment (just wanted to hang out and have fun!)
so what gives? i want answers.
of course he gave the typical "it's not you, it's me" excuse. not good enough buddy. you suck!
makes me lose faith in the male race when something like this happens.

family drama

don't you just hate it when the shit hits the fan regarding family issues?
it's especially shitty when a family member passes away and YOU are the one caught in the middle of all the bull crap.
going back and forth between calling this person and that person because the two parties refuse to talk to one another.
it's just stupid!
remind me to never get involved in something this childish again. i feel like i'm back in high school, when jenny hurt christie's feelings
and now christie won't talk to jenny. but when jenny wants to tell christie something, i have to go and tell her because "they're not speaking."
it's a load of poo poo.
all i can say is, thank god i'm 3000 miles away from this.
see, not everything is roses in meggie's life.

let's play a game...

guess who's on drugs in this picture:



yes folks, that's me reeeeally feeling it behind all of our other cracked out friends (all of whom WERE on drugs earlier, for the record).
i love how everyone else looks so spent and i'm still groovin (to madvillain, or was it dizzee rascal? er...).
thanks to sara for sending this one from coachella weekend!

busy busy

all of a sudden, i got ridiculously busy with work. everything kind of piled up today and i'm freaking out a bit.
i know i'll work it out, but it's all a bit daunting. yikes!
the sci-fi project is back and in full effect (scary conference call with the higher ups today), a brand new website project is finally ready to go (asap of course), a new dream client is wanting a proposal and quote, my friend's wedding invite (which has been the most fun), i have to go back into "the office" job tomorrow and friday, and other past clients wanting little knit-picky things that all take time.
the other problem is that i've been really tired during the day and can't seem to motivate til late at night. it's bizarre but i can't seem to get on the normal working person's clock. like it's 12:30 now and i'm wide awake but i have to be at the office at 9am. crap. i think i'm just waiting to move to get my life back on a regular schedule. my increasingly tiny room is a nightmare... boxes everywhere, piles of junk taking up every inch, no room to get around, very claustrophobic and stuffy. it's really time. i just can't wait to have my own place and get my life organized!!!

wonder-full

how the fuck did i miss this?
saw a guy in line at the bank wearing a shirt with stevie wonder that said "wonder-full" and of course, had to comment.
"did you go?" he asked.
"go to what?"
"the stevie wonder tribute show. happens every year."
"shit. on his birthday right?"
"yep."
"nooooooo!"
"yeah, i won't go into details, you'll just get depressed," he says back.
i'm kicking myself!

signed, sealed, delivered

guess what? i just got back from signing the lease to the apartment. it's officially mine starting june 1st!
i'm so happy.
now i have to figure out how i'm gonna furnish the place.
i have a ton of my shit being stored in at my mom's which could be great. but how to get it here?
i looked up renting a u-haul and it was outrageous (literally $1500 just for the truck, not the gas or lodging expenses).
and i've heard of renting out a space in a semi, but heard not the best things about that.
if anyone has any suggestions (or anyone that might know), i'd love some good ideas/horror stories/what have you.
thanks!

soup's on!

saturday night was great. alex had offered to cook for a few friends at the fancy apartment that zak was watching.
turned out to be 7 of us and the meal was superb.
olga and i were his preps and we learned some valuable cooking lessons... how to chop lemon grass and basil properly, not to mention how to make a fantastic strawberry sauce (so easy!). i was too tipsy to take photos of the actual meal, but here are a couple of the process...

chef alex sautees fennel:


close up:


prep olga and the chef:


me pointing in awe of my cute chef boyfriend (how did i get so lucky?):


the menu consisted of salad of mixed greens, sprouts and papaya with some amazing asian-style dressing,
medley of sauteed veggies (fennel, spinach, asparagus, bok choy) and steamed red snapper with some fancy "reduction" (of which i have no idea what was in it, but it was damn good). OH, and dessert. oh god, dessert! vanilla ice cream with sliced strawberries, fresh whipped cream and strawberry sauce (that i MADE!). YUM!
mr. chef got lots of props from the guests, which made me all proud and shit. so lame, but i can't help it. the boy is good.

I GOT IT! I GOT IT!

thanks to each of you for sending your positive energy my way because it paid off! i got the apartment!!! the one right on the park! i gave my deposit today. i sign the lease on monday. AND i got to see it again and took some pics. yes, i'm now the dork blogger with digi cam in hand prepared to take the photos to share with y'all.
so here you have it. ladies and gentlemen (drum roll please)... i give you megan's first very own NY apartment...

first view when you walk in (nice decorative fireplace):


right side of apt (kitchen and bathroom):


left side (two big sunny windows with TREES!):


back side (door to second room which will be my office):


nice big closet in office:


the private deck (which supposedly is a hazard to use, but i WILL find a way to get out there):


view of main room from office (check those amazing high ceilings!!!):


the happy tenant:


so, what do you think? it's smallish yes, but will be perfect for just me.

when alex and i went to look at the place today this weekly farmer's market was happening ON MY STREET:



AND, last night alex and i went to the hood to check out the wong kar-wai festival happening at BAM (which is about a 5 minute walk from my new pad). we saw happy together which was amazing! i LOVED it. highly recommended.
we then stubbled upon the cutest little french bistro that ever was, on the trendy de kalb ave. (two blocks from my place).
basically, i'm already in love with my new neighborhood and i haven't even moved yet.
life is good.

red tape

i'm still doing time in corporate world. apparently, this particular project is going to last through august and they asked if i could come help with it a couple days a week. it's easy enough and the money is good, so i said why not. can't complain about a steady gig, can i?

the thing that's really annoying is that i'm here as a "temp employee," not a freelance contractor, which means i have to fill out a time card, go up to accounting on specific thursdays (which i always forget), and pick up my check from random people (it hasn't been the same person yet and thus gets rather confusing if i'm not here on payday). well, when i came back from my little "vacation" i knew i had a check waiting for me. but nobody seemed to have it know where it was. grrr...

first i had to ask my supervisor who didn't know anything about it. he directed me to kim. who the hell is kim? i thought it was this chick in HR, who gave me my start paperwork. she didn't have it either and directed me to accounting. all the way upstairs, i had to ask more unfamiliar people if they'd seen my check. nope, nope and nope. i was getting pissed. finally one of the accountants looked up my info and sure enough, it had been issued, but not cashed. no one knew where it was. at this point, I'M HATING THIS CORPORATE BULLSHIT! I JUST WANT SOME BREAD!

finally, after 3 email correspondances with accounting, we decided to put a stop payment on the check and she'd re-issue a new one that i wouldn't get til next week. by the time i went back upstairs, signed off on some shit saying she was doing that, i came back downstairs and KIM said "oh megan, i have your check!" mystery solved. so i hurried back upstairs, hoping the accountant lady had not gone through with the stop payment. luckily, she hadn't. and after all that, i got my measly, taxes-taken out check. pain in my ass. but it's steady pay, right?? that's what i have to keep telling myself to make it through.

good news though: i have a potential big awesome dream client meeting next week! hope that works out.

fort greene baby!

when i went to look at another (possible future home) apartment yesterday, i snapped some pics of the area to show you guys.
so here's my future hood. prepare to be jealous. :)

the streets around the park:


the park (right across the street from my HOPEFULLY future building):


and there's the building (fingers crossed!!!)


i know that posting this shit will totally jinx my getting the place RIGHT THERE, but oh well.
even if i don't get that particular place, you still get an idea of the area. YAY for fort greene.
i heard that in the summer there are little concerts going on in the park, not to mention outdoor movie screenings (my favorite)!
i just know i'm gonna love it.

coachella pics!

the group:



rv after party:



amy crashes:



the stage:



the sunset:



drug-induced photos:

rain!!

last night i couldn't sleep. i had been on the phone most of the evening talking to various folks. the last one i was talking to was brett, my new friend, born and raised in NYC. this cat is cool. i really like him and he cracks me up. he totally reminds me of my good friend rick... music nerd, collector of oddities, smarty pants.
anyway, he does this radio show out of jersey which starts at 3am. unfortunately, i haven't been awake to hear it yet, but he said he was gonna do a little rainy day theme show cuz of the rain outside. and let me tell you, it was coming DOWN! crazy crazy thunder echoing through my place, and the lightning was practically coming through the windows.

i thought the rain songs was a cool idea, so i started making suggestions.
cry me a river (has that rainy intro--justin)
i can't stand the rain (missy elliot version)
singin in the rain (duh)
raindrops keep fallin on my head (burt bacharach)
come rain or come shine (billy holiday)

any more suggestions? this game is fun! no internet searches though! that's cheating...

honey: not so sweet

from time to time i like to change up my netflix rental que from the usual foreign, documentary, 60s new wave, indie, art house selections to really cheesy movies, just to keep things real. right.
so i'll admit, i sort of wanted to see the film honey when it came out. another hip hop dance drama staring the very hot jessica alba. girl from the bronx gets her big break as a music video dancer. sounds like my kinda movie. well, i never saw it in the theater and it seemed to be the perfect netflix rental.

ok, so the movie was poor at best. horribly cliche script and the dance numbers weren't even that good. i mean you got served was a god awful script with some of the worst acting on film, but those DANCE NUMBERS were insane! i was screaming like a little girl for MORE! anyway, honey was bad news, BUT, the DVD redeemed itself.

of course after viewing, i had to check the special features. and low and behold, there was this: "learn to dance like honey" NICE!
the choreographer from the movie came on and went through a step by step of a short but sweet hip hop routine. i moved the coffee table out of the way and actually learned it! HAHAHA! i kill myself. it was totally fun. and i can't wait to break out my new honey number at the next club. "and 3 and 4 and ATTITUDE!"

lov-ing-ah

thanks to ariel, i discovered the updated blogger templates! so so so cool!!!
now i don't have to shell out the cash for typepad or any of the others out there. YAY!

so yes, i'm back in NY. things are going very well. spring is here. the weather is perfect and everyone seems to be in good spirits everywhere.
and a few things are happening with me too!

1. i made the decision to move out of my little italy apartment. it's been thee perfect transitional place to NY. getting to know NY from here has been great. jessica is an awesome roommate. but the fact of the matter is, this place is TOO SMALL for me. and to be honest, i can't deal with the tourist bullshit of mulberry street in the spring either. i walk out my door and have to dodge not only all the tables from the restaurants that are now on the sidewalks, but also the hoards (and i'm talking hoards) of foreign dumbasses that won't GET OUT OF MY WAY!!! so i'm making the move to brooklyn. june 1st.
do i have a place yet? no. am i looking? yes.
i've decided that fort greene is my ideal hood and i've been actively looking since i got back. i found one place i really like that i put an application in for, but who knows. getting a place seems to be really hard here. they look at everything! bank statements, tax returns, employment stubs, landlord and personal references. jesus! do they want my unborn children as collateral damage?
cross your fingers that i get this one place. it's rad, but i'm sure that wanting it so bad means i won't get it. but think good thoughts anyway.

2. things with alex (yes, that's his name. i'm not calling his new boy anymore) are better than ever. i made the decision that he's my "boyfriend." YIKES! no, i'm excited. it was so nice to come back to NY and especially to him. we spend a good 72 hours together when i returned and i wasn't needing space! that's a miracle for me. we just fit. he's so chill. and we care a great deal for each other. i'm very happy about that.

3. the work is pouring in. got about 8 projects lined up. don't know how i'm going to get everything done, but i will. after my little post-dad not wanting to work much trauma, i decided it's time to get back into work. and hopefully my new pad will be a great work environment and condusive to lots of productivity.

and i guess that's all for now.
please leave a comment so i know you're reading. thanks!

coachella--the hottest festival EVER (and i don't mean "good" hot)

the festival weekend was really fun but way way way too hot. i'm just not a fan of extremely hot weather and unfortunately, the heat put a pretty big damper on the fun.

first, the bad points and disappointments of the weekend:
the drive from LA to indio took us 4.5 hours. there was a horrible accident and we arrived at the RV rental place past closing time.
because we arrived late, the man running the joint took his own sweet time getting the RV and the paperwork together and that took 2 more hours!
got lost trying to find the RV park in the dark and by that time i was on my wit's end (pms/heat/anxiety driving the huge rv/just wanting to be there already).
saturday morning breakfast--yuck!
saturday day was about 103 degrees.
sunday was 107.
the hour+ wait to park.
my car's battery dying on the way into the parking.
amy getting her really good weed taken by strict security.
getting impatient with trying to keep a big group of people together.
missing part of the flaming lips due to waiting for one of the group who didn't show up at the specified place.
missing lots of the bands i was looking forward to seeing sunday afternoon... we opted to go after the sun went down that day.
the cure's set (besided the encore).

the good points:
the pools at the RV park.
karaoke night on friday... namely trevin & peymon's performances.
getting unexpected v.i.p. wristbands which let us chill in the shadier areas, gave us access to misting fans, and shorter lines for the bathrooms and bars.
smoking great cali weed all day/night.
when the sun went down sat/sun!... the night time.
taking the best e ever both nights!
the pixies' thoroughly enjoyable performance.
when the e kicked in for the radiohead set.
radiohead (quite possibly the best live band i've ever seen... could be the e talking, but i don't think so).
bright eyes... sooooooo good!!!! and sooo cute!!!
sidestepper... finally my chance to dance! excellent lively set. super fun people listening/dancing to them.
mf doom... good hip hop that i was totally in the mood for that night.
prefuse 73's surprisingly great set.
the RV after party and the crazy entertaining guy on stilts.
hanging out with new and old friends and having a chance to let loose.

that pretty much sums up the weekend. would have been superb if it hadn't been that hot. the setting was pretty neat... giant grassy flat ground and it was set up very well in terms of navigation. but who's idea was it to have it in the desert? bad. if i have to compare this US festival to the UK's the big chill, i'd have to pick big chill. much better in terms of setting and overall vibe. just more my speed. beautiful locations, chilled out people, way less people, way friendlier people, no commercialization, no visible special privileges to "industry" people, and excellent food! but the coachella line-up was something else. just wish it hadn't have been so hot or i would've been able to see all of the acts i went to see!

wait, how old am i?

as i was leaving for LA today, my mom said to me "now don't go too crazy in the desert." then my aunt chimed in, "yeah, don't take any drugs."
HAHA! they were kidding of course. sort of.
silly parentals. i'm 29 years old for christ's sake! give a kid (i mean adult) a break.

3 more days

only 3 more days til i'm kicking it at coachella and i can't wait. i've been cooped up in boring-ville for too long. performing unpleasant activities in ungodly weather.
the friends are hooking it all up. 3 camp sites. 3 RV's. 17+ friends! it'll be like our own mini burning man. minus the nudie factor. eh, but who knows. these so-cal kids are known to get pretty wild in the old desert. give em a fatty sound system, plenty of booze and a little ecstacy and shit can get pretty crazy. i honestly don't know what to expect, but i have a feeling, it's going to be a great time.
yay for fun! i need some!

packing it up

the last few days haven't been great.
i've had the task of packing up my dad's house. it's been hard, but not terrible. i've kind of just put emotional blinders on and got down to business, without thinking too much about it. but you kind of can't help but think "what's it all about" while boxing up 57 years worth of a life. we accumulate so much stuff. papers and bills and photos and notes and knick knacks and furniture and TOOLS! what does all of this stuff mean? and when it comes down to it, when we die, it really is just stuff.

i think i've been pretty good about only saving the things that have any sort of meaning to me. the sentimental stuff. the peruvian treasures. the items i remember growing up with. the other stuff is going in the garage sale and donation piles... and so far, those piles are pretty significant compared to the keep pile.

my friends michele and patrick came down on saturday. patrick knows his tools and was willing to help me go through the garage. this was the first time i'd had people over to the house that had never met my dad and that was a whole different ballgame. patrick was looking over the 30+ years of tools and was in awe. he kept saying stuff like "wow, this guy had an amazing collection. he must have been a cool guy." that just killed me. i really lost it. that tool collection was his baby. apparently it was all quality stuff in really good condition. leave it to my dad. needless to say, patrick was impressed and that made me happy.

michele saw that i was getting all emotional. i'd obviously been bottling that stuff up for a while because it came out pretty bad. hadn't lost it that bad since i was originally there in january. anyway, michele was awesome and did some reiki and chakra stuff on me. when she did my heart i really let some stuff go. and was calmed down later. it was cool and i felt like i was able to let some of that bottled shit out. thanks michele! i needed that.

later that day, we headed to glen ivy hot springs for a little relaxation. it was nice. some mineral baths, club mud, hot tub action, moisturizing treatment. it was great. needed that too. a good day all around.

not much else to report from fallbrook. life is mellow here. been about 90 degrees. just packing and getting little bits of work done on the laptop here and there. and that's about it. been missing alex too. we've talked about every other night. NY sounds super springy and i'm sad i'm missing out on it. can't wait to see him again.

i am looking forward to coachella this weekend. i hope it's not too hot. and that everything goes smoothly without any major catastrophes. we're gonna have a little pseudo burning man set up... 3 camping spaces next to each other with 3 RV's full of friends. something to look forward to after all these unpleasantries.

goin' back to cali

originally written, wed. apr. 14

on a plane on my way back to cali. listening to a little jane's addiction to get me in the mood.
i have mixed feelings about this trip. on one hand, i'm excited to see my friends and family, to hang out and spend time with them in warm weather. but on the other hand, i'm not at all excited to deal with the tasks at hand, which include an "intervention" with my grandma about my dad's house, setting up care arrangements for her, cleaning out my dad's house, more lawyer meetings and bank crap, dmv trip, etc, etc. blah! it's gotta get done though. i feel like i've sort of created a little wall in my NY world, where i don't really have to think of that stuff. sure, i've thought of my dad every single day and i wonder how my grandma and debbie are doing, but it's not a constant. i've got work and my new boyfriend and the city to keep me occupied and i quite like it that way. aren't we supposed to take care of ourselves a little too when bad things happen? well, now it's time to take care of the ones who've been suffering most. it's my duty as the only daughter to fly out and TCB (take care of business). i just hope it doesn't turn into the potential nightmare that it could.

i'm flying into LA first. gonna be there for a few days before heading down. staying with amy. gonna see all the kids too. that'll be fun. i wonder what i'll think of LA this time? the more i'm away from it, the more i gain varying perspectives on the place. i know i'm gonna love the nice weather. that's a given. i've just really grown to love NY. i never dreamed i'd like it as much as i do. example: last night. first off, i went back to my new favorite neighborhood to check out a place. then stopped into a restaurant/bar that looked really cool last time i was in the area. it was about happy hour time and a guy i saw on the subway was standing outside. he recognized me and said i should join him, so i did.
i was welcomed into the place by every person working there. OMIGOD, this place was the cooooolest. a south african joint, run by the grooviest set of people i've met in one place. the bartender was chatting me up, really interested in who i was and what i was into, etc. meanwhile the gorgeous dead-headed man to my left was spinning some of my favorite tracks (many in my own collection) on the turntables. i had a couple beers and some delicious s. african soup and then the cool bartender gave me a special concoction of his own. i was floored on my walk/ride back home at 8:30pm.
later on, i met up with alex and we went to the one year anniversary party for rude movements. ig culture made his US dj debut and played a wicked set. the place was just bumpin on a rainy tuesday night. that crowd is really great. so mixed and fun-loving. i just know that vibe doesn't exist in LA and if it does, i never witnessed it. everyone was shaking it on the steamy sweaty sorta-dance floor. ipod party upstairs where andrew andrew greeted me warmly, asking if i was going to grace their ipods that night. HA! "not tonight guys." followed by a heavy joint session wtih 5 other fellow stoners on the patio out back. back to the damp bar below for more fun. it was the perfect NY send-off.
now, let's see how LA compares.

loviness on both coasts

i'm in LA right now. it's beautiful here. the sun shining, no clouds around, light cool breeze. i thought i had it made leaving rainy NY, but it turns out, it's just as lovely over there now. kinda bummed i'm missing the spring thing back east. but at least it's nice in both places.

not much to report here. i got sick over the weekend and have just been laying low. taking care of what little business i can. sold one car. preparing to sell two more. hope they go without hassle. also prepping the packing of my dad's house. what a daunting task! the house itself shouldn't be too bad, but the garage! oh the garage! if anyone knows how to sell a shit load of tools (ranging from power tools to regular ones to all sorts of woodworking materials), i'm accepting suggestions. i would do the ebay thing, but what a pain to list every item. sad thing is, i don't even know what any of the stuff is. talk about being a stupid girl who has no clue about tools. it would take me years to research what it was, what it did and what it's worth. ugh! i wish i could just call someone and say give me x amount of money to take it all. wouldn't that be nice? and there is the estate sale route, but then i loose money. i'm a bit confused on this one. any ideas, please email me!

other than that, the family drama has been tamed. grandma is moving into my dad's house. her house will be rented for the time being. it's strange to be back in fallbrook so soon, but somehow, it's rather comforting. everyone is so nice and friendly and truly wants to help. i know smalltown USA is what i so desperately wanted to get away from, but it really does feel like home.

international fare

dating a chef means you eat really really well.
last weekend's menu included...
friday night: traditional spanish tapas and wine (felt like i was in spain! delish).
saturday morning: mexican brunch (i'm used to huevos rancheros, but it was damn tasty).
saturday night: egyptian food (never had it before. kinda like moroccan and it was soooo yum!!!)
sunday brunch: vegetarian dim sum (who knew it even existed).
like that cheesy mcdonald's slogan that i can't get out of my head "I'M LOVING IT." ha!

boy oh boy

it's getting heavy.
last night, when i was with new boy, i was trying to remember the last time i felt like the way i do with him.
i searched and searched through the past relationship database in my brain and couldn't remember.
then i realized, that's because i've never felt this way with anyone else.
when i told him this, he said he was thinking the same thing.
kinda huge.
me = really happy.

small world

last night was the last time i was going to see my friend poth before he left for london today, so i took him out for a couple drinks.
we met up at my new favorite little neighborhood bar, shebeen at around midnight and it was dead. basically just us and the cute bartender.
we sat at the bar and ended up chatting with this cool fellow for a bit.
we stayed longer than expected when bartender boy started pouring us shots. btw, new favorite shot: a godfather. a couple beers later and we were still chatting it up with this guy. get this: turned out he went to emerson college too! he was a few years younger, but was there when i was! he also did the castle well program. we gabbed and gabbed about the castle. then i find out he knows some of my good friends from emerson who used to frequent the old bar he worked at.
too too weird. now i've got a friend behind the bar at my fave watering hole 5 blocks away. YES!

best commercial (maybe) ever

i LOVE this.

joints and russian pop

funny little story from the weekend:
i was out with my friend who had just got back to NY from 2 months in hawaii.
needless to say, she was completely zen-ed out. answered her door in her bikini. loved it!

we were celebrating her return and were going out in brooklyn to go dancing.
first went to bar to get a couple warm-up beverages. then new boy met us there and happened to bring along an enomous joint to share with the group.
we went to go get a car service to take us to the next spot. no one wanted to take us, but my friend and her cousin, who both happen to be russian talked this driver into taking us. he was russian too and they worked their russian magic. next thing, we're in the car. boy pulls out the joint, my friend speaks to the driver in russian and next thing i know, the giant spliff is being lit in the car! sweet!! driver then reaches over and pumps up the stereo, blasting the funniest russian speed pop i've ever heard.
it was mayhem.
here's the proof.

overheard

just got back from lunch.
while eating by myself at a cafe down the street, i heard a guy behind me say this:

"...weirdest dream last night. i dreamed that i was stuck in this big park all alone. all of a sudden, me legs turned into 2 baguettes and every squirrel in the park wanted to eat my legs! i had to run, but it was so hard to move with baguettes for legs. it was a total nightmare!"

i couldn't help but laugh to myself visualizing the scene.

what the #$%&

did i really just see bob dylan singing on a victoria's secret commercial?
holy crap, what has this world come to???

making strides

on my walk to work this morning, i counted how many steps it took to walk 1 average new york city block (north/south). it was exactly 80 steps.

this means, when i walk home from work, i've taken roughly 1920 steps. who needs a friggin' gym? again, confirmation that i love this city.

little pencil

last night i made my first trip via subway to visit new boy who happens to live in astoria. i've been to his place before but always took a cab and was with him. this time, i was going out on my own and had never taken the subway to queens. i knew it was going to be longer than my normal subway journeys so i made sure the ipod batteries were charged and brought along a new tokion magazine to read.

when i got on the N train, i found my little spot--a two seat bench all to myself. i spread my stuff out and got comfortable for the long ride. not so fast. next stop, a hoard of travelers were standing outside the door, ready to get on and steal away my private nook. but wait! who was that handsome boy standing at the doors looking my way? "if someone has to sit by me, please, oh please let it be him." like the gods answering my prayers, hot boy plopped himself right next to me. the comfort zone was slightly violated as our crossed legs rubbed against each other, but i didn't mind one bit.

i carried on reading my magazine. well, not really reading. this boy was so hot i couldn't really concentrate on the copy. but i did notice him checking out the mag's cool graphics. then he took out his own reading material. a subway requirement is to check out your next door neighbor's reading, so i did. it was some sort of text book material in spanish! oh god, oh god! extra bonus points for the cute boy to my left.

then the strangest thing happened. he took out the smallest pencil i've ever seen (maybe about 1 inch) and began jotting down notes on the pages. i was fascinated. how could this 6ft+ tall boy, with rather large hands write with such a stub of a pencil? i didn't get it, and i couldn't stop staring and wondering what the deal was. i wanted to ask him if he needed a pen or something. instead, in my dorky way, i removed my headphones and asked "so... what's with the tiny pencil?"

he smiled a huge smile and spoke in the cutest spanish accent you've ever heard, "oh," he chuckled, "it is a superstition of mine." "what do you mean?" i asked back. "well, ever since i was 17, i've been using pencils til they are almost gone. i think if i throw them away before that, something bad will happen to me. i also have to keep the stubs and i have about 5 bottles full of them."

whoa! i had no idea that would come out of him when i asked my question. it was a trip and i had to know more. he went on and on about his grandmother who was ultra superstitious and encouraged him with his odd pencil theory. i also learned that he didn't wear a watch or use a cell phone for similar reasons. what an intersting character. not only was he the hottest boy ever, he was weird! the perfect combo. again, being the dork that i am, i got out my digital camera and asked if i could snap a pic of him with his little pencil (since i loved the story so much). he allowed me to do so and instead of being embarrassed about it, he posed with his pencil and flashed a big toothy grin. here is the pic (disclaimer: this photo does not do his cuteness justice).

i was so intrigued by him, i sorta wanted to ask for his number, but i was on my way to meet new boy and thought it would be wrong. as we got off at the same stop i asked his name. "mariano, from argentina" he said. "megan. it was lovely chatting with you. i don't think anything bad is going to happen to you." and he smiled his giant cute smile again and walked off.

god help me, i love this city.

the way to a girl's heart...

is through her stomach. yeah, i know the real saying is "through a man's heart" but i think it's true for us chicks too.
yet again, my new boy cooked for me last night. this time at his house (not the restaurant). and OMIGOD!!!
i felt so pampered, getting cooked for like that. and it wasn't just some cute attempt at cooking like pasta and sauce from a jar with a few extra veggies thrown in.
this was COOKING. tiger prawns with baby bock choy and chinese spinach in some crazy delicious ginger sauce over perfect rice.
the prawns were just crazy intense. and the whole eating experience was rather sensual. prying the meat of the prawn out from the shell and eating with your hands. yum! i could have sworn homeboy sprinkled some ecstacy powder over that meal because the second course was ridiculous (heh heh). talk about an afrodisiac! wonder if he knew this (which i just found on the internet):

Men have been experimenting with food as a route into women's knickers since the dawn of time. Virtually every culture has its own menu of delicacies designed to induce passion and fertility... Another trick is to ensure that at least one course is eaten with fingers - either start with something along the lines of Thai seasoned king prawns, or alternatively finish with chocolate-dipped fruit.

and are you ready for dessert?: bananas sauteed in butter, sugar and rum, wrapped in HOMEMADE crepes, drizzled with HOMEMADE chocolate sauce with vanilla ice cream on the side all sprinkled with choco powder. DYING!!! i may get fat hanging out with this boy, but at this rate, who the fuck cares? i'm in seventh heaven.

baaaad movie

so i had the honor of attending the screening of m. night's new movie, the village due out in july. it was one of those pre-released, not quite finished screenings to get the audience reactions and stuff. again, it was one of his signature "surprise twist endings" movies which, in my opinion, is sooooo played out! it's like you expect this from him now and can't just watch the movie because you are constantly wondering "what is the twist?" so i wasn't quick enough to catch the twist even though i was looking for it, but let me just say, the surprise is WACK. it wasn't even a surprise like "whoa..." it was more like "huh? that's stupid." oops.

don't get me wrong. the production value of the film is great. it's slick. it's well-produced and looks real pretty (thanks to roger deakins and disney's deep pockets) but the story is just plain silly. honestly, i think it would have been more powerful had you known the twist at the beginning. granted, they are still working out the kinks, but to me, there are a lot of kinks to be worked out. and the script was not well-written. just too hollywood cliche for me. AND the actors all seemed to be over-acting too. the cast reads like a hollywood's who's who, but jesus, tone it down a bit people. no more yelling when you're trying to announce a climatic plot point. joaquin phoenix was the only solid performance in my book. that guy is great. wonder why he ends up doing these big budget hollywood films?

anyway, for night's sake, i hope it gets better. he was there asking us questions and it seemed like a lot of the audience was on the same page as i was... ouch. the guy is smart, so hopefully he's got more (or less) footage up his sleeve. otherwise, i smell a summer blockbuster bomb.

in like

you read it here first. i like a guy. and i'm sorta freaking out about it a little bit (in a good way).
no really, this isn't just some fling this time. it's totally intense and great and i'm into it. we've only hung out a total of 4 times after meeting 2 fridays ago and every session has been fantastic... progressively getting better each time, which seems to be a good sign.

i met him, (surprise, surprise) on a dance floor. we connected immediately. he had really good moves and it was on. whenever you meet someone in a club, you just never know though. but i felt something with this one. something different. we went out the next night and i got to know him a little bit. all stats in check. grew up in a foreign country, speaks 3 languages, well travelled, smart, loves music and dancing, good politics and world view, no weird religion crap but spiritual, gets my humor, really cute style (very new yorky), is a total gentleman, and is a chef!

our second hangout, he cooked for me at his restaurant. OMIGOD!! 4 courses of incredibly beautiful looking and tasting food. to die! i was in heaven.

third hangout i was feeling sick so he came over and brought me take out and just chilled with me at home. sara even got to meet him and gave the seal of approval (and she's a tough critic too!).

and last night... OH LAST NIGHT! just too good. we were both thanking the universe for our good fortune of meeting each other.

ok, enough mush. i'm just happy, that's all.

last year of the twenties

i made it through the birthday weekend and came out a-ok. 29 to some may seem like a milestone... last year of a decade (or an era). but i'm thinking of it as 1 step closer to 30, which i'm actually looking forward to, believe it or not. the twenties have been tough (and yes, completely fun), but from what i've heard from my older peers, is that the thirties are great (when you figure yourself out a bit more, are more comfortable with life, career stuff becomes a little more clear and sex life: watch out!). not that i'm putting place markers on ages, but sometimes, you just can't help it.

my friend sara from LA came out for the bday weekend which was really sweet. made me happy to have a good friend in town for the occassion... since most all of my NY friends happened to be out of town this weekend and it could have been a pretty lonely birthday. i didn't really plan anything big... just meeting at my favorite little bar in brooklyn for drinks and dancing. what more could i want?

the day was lovely... sunny and relatively warm. sara and i started the day with yummy breakfast then did the token walking all over the LES and east village for shopping, then over to the west village for the magnolia's bday cupcake. perfect day if you ask me. back at home for a little snooze, then chinese for dinner and off to the bar.

a handful of people showed up. we got drunk and danced and that was about that. nothing major, but it was nice.

the real party was last night though. lucy had gotten tickets for the body & soul reunion party. i was feeling pretty darn after boozin it up saturday night, but since it was a "tea dance" (late afternoon into early-ish evening) i thought i could muster the energy. we met up at 8 and headed to the sold out club.

it was insanely packed. apparently they were closing the club, arc, where body & soul had held a residency for years. also, the night had been finished for over a year (i believe) so the regulars were out to support, as well as every other music/dance/club enthusiast in NYC. and let me tell you, there was every kind of person imaginable in that room. old, young, short, tall, fat, skinny, black, white, asian, latino, gay, straight, crazy, normal. i mean EVERYONE. as i toked on some insane shirtless funny hatted gay man's joint, lucy told me to check out the 40+ dude wearing a t-shirt tucked into shorts with white socks and tevas! it was too much! but the main theme was everyone was enjoying themselves to the nth degree.

you could just feel that energy swarming through the place. i felt like i had taken the best E of my life as the lights would go down, the smoke machine filled the room, the sirens went off and everyone began to scream and clap when a song got intense. i don't know if old E chemicals stay in your body, and can be released again or if it was just a "contact high" but whatever it was, i felt so damn good (could even FEEL that something coursing through my veins and it gave my goosebumps).

needless to say, my lack of energy replaced in a matter of songs. and i must admit, the music wasn't something i'd necessarily listen to at home (some of it, sure, but most of it not), but i was grooving to some hard house shit regardless. the vibe in the joint was too too good not to lose your shit.

i think the highlight of the evening was when joe claussel played an extended version of "do i do" by my all time favorite stevie wonder. before the song came on, the lights went out, then a HUGE blast of cold air filled the room, the lights faded up to blue, the siren sound came on and then STEVIE! the place went nuts. and joe was just working the EQ's... like a freaking conductor infront of a giant orchestra. oh god, i loved it!

thank you body & soul. thank you for making me love NYC that much better... knowing that there are that many of us in the city that can create that kind of special energy in a room with good old fashioned music and dancing!

been so long

shit, i realize it's been forever since i last wrote and i'm sure no one is even checking this thing anymore, but since i have a few minutes i'll give a couple updates.

first, the good news: i got in on that american airlines deal... where i fly twice from NY before april 15th and i get a free ticket to anywhere in the world! i'm so freaking stoked on that one. so to qualify for the deal i decided to buy a last minute ticket to miami last weekend, where the winter music conference and the m3 summit was happening. m3 happens to be the "cool" version of WMC, where the parties are catered to the jazzier side of music (an alternative to the 4-to-the-floor/techno/trance crowd). my new friend lucy, from london, was going as was my old friend vicki (who was getting a free hotel room).

i wasn't necessarily looking forward to this having preconceived notions of horrible lines outside crowded clubs and bimbos everywhere, but i thought why not (and the whole free ticket was the main incentive). turned out miami was really fun. more good travel karma came my way... met some new NY people who had pull at the door of the big jazzanova/bugz in the attic party. the crowd outside was inside and the cover of $20 was not appealing, but we managed to slip in with these kids. excellent. met up with michael later in the night and ran into a handful of LA club friends. the music was excellent, the crowd pretty cool (minus the lack of crazy dancers) and spirits were high all around. my biggest complaint was the drink prices... fucking $7 for a bud (and that was the only option for beer).

next night same thing happened. lucy just happened to know the guy at the door for the huge BBE/okay player party and we got right in (HA! that line outside the door was absolutely riddick). that party was just plain crazy. so so so many people. but fantastic music and the club was just insane: huge, cool decor, about 5 rooms. again, a good good time.

and during the day it was all chilled out style on the beach. i never think i like tropical settings, but get me in one and i'm happy as a clam.

other than miami, just been plugging away at an on-site freelance design gig for the past couple weeks. not a big thrill. been nice to be out of the house. well, it was at first. i was kind of enjoying being amongst the working stiffs, getting up, getting my coffee, getting on the subway. but the thrill is already gone. i want to be home and emailing and blogging at my own free will. worst part of the job is that art director has direct view of my screen, so i can't get away with much. oh well. the money is good at least.

so i guess that's it. dad stuff is still on the brain, but not taking over. i'm managing to stay pretty balanced and have remained happy, with small bursts of sadness. that part will come next month when i go back to fallbrook to take care of his house. UGH!! gotta do it though. then coachella as my reward. nice.

newness

in retrospect, last week was a good week.
i think i needed to make some changes and that's just what i did.
first i got a new hair do. got it colored darker and i really dig it. felt like cutting out the california i suppose.
now i feel like a real new yorker. ha! don't you just love my oh so sexy pose? i crack myself up sometimes.

last friday i went on a little shopping spree. my friend greg who works for miss sixty invited me to their sample sale where the prices were ridiculously low. and on top of being so cheap, he also got a 50% discount off those prices. and i scored!! a coat that i had been coveting, that was going for $300+ in the store, i snagged for $40!! their $175 jeans were $25!! snapped up a couple shirts, a blazer and some tights. all that for $120. amazing. i was on such a shopping high that day, it was awesome. why does shopping make you feel so damn good sometimes??

then on saturday jessica and i braved the trip to ikea in jersey. caught the free ikea bus from port authority and went a little crazy there. we wanted everything, but didn't know how the hell we were going to get it home. furniture shopping in this town is really hard if you have no means of bringing back to your place or a shit load of money to get it delivered. we ended up putting a lot back, but still ended up with 3 big bags and 4 ridiculously heavy huge boxes of do-it-yourself furniture. luckily we met a nice lady on the bus back who offered to help watch our shit while we took trips back and forth from the bus stop in port authority to the street corner where we hoped to catch a cab that would hold everything. it worked. and miraculously, we got a minivan cab!! we were amazed. in our rush to get everything out of the cab on mulberry street (tiny one way with tons of traffic that night), we forgot a bag. so pissed. it took us hours to get everything up the 5 flights of stairs. what a pain in the ass. but i have a new desk and a cabinet which will hold the TV and my stereo that my mom is sending out. YAY! a turntable!!! and good speakers!!! all very exciting stuff.

newness feels good.

how i'm feeling

(written Feb. 13)

i'm surprisingly happy being back in new york. i'm taking it all day by day and so far, i'm feeling good. my work load is minimal right now and i'm gonna keep it that way for a bit. i realized i haven't had much time to explore the city and there is so so much to see and do. i look at the time out and there are a million things i want to check out. i don't even really know where to start.

i'm going to start taking a yoga class. maybe find an african dance class i like. get in some culture. that's what i came to NY for right? i'm paying this rent to be in this city, so why not utilize the resources the city has to offer? i refuse to slip into a funk, so i'm going to stay busy with seeing and doing hopefully.

i've seen a few friends here and there, but i've been having a lot of me time, which i needed. just having walks around the neighborhoods and such. went out last tuesday night and had a blast. movie and dinner with danny and then a club with lucy. we closed the bar. good fun. met a nice dude. etc, etc.

i do feel far from home, yes, but i know i have the support of my family to be here and to do my thing, so that's what i'm gonna do. i'll be back there in may to check in on them and to continue the logistical stuff for my dad. the timing of all of this has been very interesting. i realize that if i'd been living in LA still, things would have been completely different for me. i wouldn't have had a life at all. i'd be constantly going to fallbrook, and feeling guilty if i wasn't. this way i don't have to. i can continue my life and check in and i feel ok about it. for now. but that's the way it should be. life goes on and i plan to keep propelling forward.

the wrap party that never was

(actually written last friday...Feb. 13)

seems like the only time i have to write these days (or the times i feel like writing) is when i'm traveling. now, it's by train, on my way back from Philly to NY. yesterday was rather comical. i was invited down to Philly for the wrap party for the Night project I've been working on and i thought why not. free train travel, free booze and food and fun people, sure! while the production office was making my travel arrangements, i got an urgent call asking if i could come down sooner as the director was having a freak-out about the re-shoots of the website stuff (the part i've been sort of consulting). i didn't have anything else that day, so i said i could come, not really knowing what they wanted or needed.

so i got the next train down and arrived around 4pm. the PA whisked me off to editorial where i was asked to watch the dailies of the website stuff. they wanted some changes made. luckily i brought my laptop and make the changes. one of the editors was a big pain in the ass and wanted it just so. ended up taking me a good 3+ hours to get it just how he wanted it to look. ugh!! then it was off to the hotel where they were shooting.

there was a very restless crew hanging out in the hallway, bitching about how late they were staying. then we got word... the wrap party had been canceled. so at that point i was basically down there to WORK and not PARTY. fuck. i have to admit, i wasn't completely upset about it. i was mildly amused at the fact that i knew exactly how the PA's felt, having worked in production so long ago (and doing plenty of that same bitching back then). and i had just seen my architect earlier this week, which i absolutely loved. you see, nathaniel kahn, the director of "my arch" (who also just happened to get an academy award nomination for best documentary) is also the director of this project. so i was kind of excited to be working with him, star-fucker that i am (and hate to admit).

the shooting of the web stuff went off without a hitch (well, nothing seriously bad happened). they seemed to get all that they needed, although i wasn't finished until 2am. jesus. but the story ends well. they felt so bad that they hooked me up with a fatty hotel room. i'm talking fat-tay. it was huge and had an amazing bathroom. it was so late, but i had to take a bath in that big squeeky clean tub. so great. watched a little cable TV in bed and had a fantastic night's sleep.

strangely enough, i woke up crying. i was dreaming about my dad. first time that has happened. it was weird, but i didn't feel bad about it. just missing him i think.
i met callum for breakfast. we ate fancy breakfast in the fancy hotel. eggs, bacon, sausage, potatoes, juices, lattes, the whole bit. had a nice chat, and then it was back to the train station. what could have been a potential disaster, ended on a pretty good note. thank god.

back to life, back to reality

sitting on the plane with my laptop. i love my laptop. best purchase i got myself in a long time. anyway, i'm on my way back to NYC. i have mixed feelings about going back. at xmas time i was so excited to get back... back to the work, to new friends, to the potential boy situations, the new still new city. but this time is very different.

the last three weeks have been totally different from anything i've known before. just a constant roller coaster of emotions. i think i remained pretty upbeat and tried to be the rock for deb and my grandma, but it was my loss too! heading back on the plane, i just think about him and tears well up. it hadn't been like that for the last few days and i think it's hitting me again now that i'm gonna be detached from everyone for the first time.

i'm pretty scared actually. of how i'll take being back in ny all by myself. i don't want to fall into a rut. i just can't deal with a serious depression for the rest of the winter. that would kill me. i'm gonna try my best to stay positive. to go out and explore as much as possible. to be with friends. to make new friends. to exercise. i must hold to these tasks or i think i'll just start to go downhill. and no one wants that.

i think the most fascinating aspect to this whole experience is the only child thing. i have no one else to share this with! and everyone is just doting on me. for example, i went to dinner last night with my grandma, debbie, my mom and aunt barb and they all just lingered on every word i uttered. constant hugs and kisses and i love you's. don't get me wrong. it's wonderful to have so much unconditional love from all these family members, but it's also a lot of pressure.

and besides dealing with emotions and feelings and being this rock for the ladies, i'm dealing with the lawyers and the banks and how we're going to care for grandma and the possessions and all if it. death is a real pain in the ass.

i miss my dad so much. i'm getting sad just thinking about it. i thought i was doing my pushing down my feelings thing for the last couple weeks (cuz i wasn't crying as much as i thought i should be), but now that i'm away, i can see i'm gonna have a rough time with it. i'm crying just thinking about it. i must have been shoving it down, because i see it surfacing now.

just gotta stay strong. i know i have it in me. i just wish i knew what it all meant, you know? that might make things easier.

seriously grieving

i've been waiting a while to write here about what's been going on with me for the last week and a half. i wanted to write some profound something about what i've learned and discovered but it's a little too personal to go into it all on the internet i feel. i think i'll save those thoughts for my written journal. i think most of whoever is reading this knows anyway, but in case you don't here's what happened...
my father died friday, january 16th.

it was completely unexpected and thus, very shocking. i found out on a cell phone, while in a movie theater by myself in new york. my apartment had no heat, so i went to the movies to get warm. when i got out i had an urgent message from my mom telling me to call. when she asked where i was, i told her and she said she didn't want to tell me there. i made her tell me anyway, because i had a feeling it was bad and wanted to know. i sat there on a bench to myself on the 7th floor of the theater on 3rd ave, while the sun set over the manhattan skyline behind me as my mother told me that my father had passed away that day. tears instantly poured out of my eyes and i couldn't understand how or why. and i really didn't know what to do. i remember i just kept asking "what should i do, what should i do?" she told me i should call vicki and take a cab to her office. said i needed to be with someone. i did and vic told me to come over right away.

catching a cab seemed to take forever. it was freezing outside, but i was numb to it. no cab would come. i just stood there in the middle of 3rd, arm half raised, tears streaming down and i tried my best to hail someone, anyone. finally got one, and continued to cry. it was the most intense crying i think i may have ever experienced. big painful sobbing, blubbering, bawling all the way through the rush hour traffic up to 29th st. jessica called me on the way and i blurted out what was happening. guess the cabbie figured out why his passenger was freaking out so bad after that.

when i got to vic's office, she was amazing. i walked out of the elevator and she was waiting for me with a glass of water and an anti-anxiety pill. she hugged me and made me tea. she had a list of the plan of attack written down and had already started looking for flights. so so sweet, i couldn't believe it. i made my phone calls. first to my grandma who was so so so upset. i was trying to get answers to what had happened and it was still unsure at that point. i told my grandma that i was coming home the next day to be with her and i could tell she felt good about that. so hard to talk to her then. all i could think was that the poor woman just lost both of her sons. out-living your two children! oh god!!
then i thought of debbie (my dad's partner). she had literally just lost her sister in november! i called her next and talked to her friend that was with her. she couldn't speak to me. i just heard wailing in the background. it was horrible.

vic took me down to my apt to help me pack. then back up to her apt that had heat. jessica was meeting us there with food. when i got to her place, i had to puke. i just felt so ill. hadn't eaten much all day and then this. it was bizarre. ate a little, tried to watch a movie, then called amy who's reaction was mind-blowing. as soon as i told her she began wailing too. "oh MEGAN!" she cried. she took it so much worse than i thought she would. i think because she sensed how upset i was. that girl really is like a sister to me!

i got on the plane the next morning, thanking vic and jess profusely before i left. they were so great and were very comforting. more blubbering on the plane. interestingly enough, none of the flight staff even noticed. i thought sure i'd have to explain myself to someone, but no. seems like the only one who noticed was a the french teenager sitting across from me. i think he thought i was a real loon.

my mother picked me up and more crying. she was holding it together for me i think. but the real sadness started when i got to my dad's house where everyone had gathered. oh god, i don't even want to think about how awful that was. everyone just sobbing uncontrollably. apparently, my dad had a respitory arrest. they found him where he was taking a breathing treatment (he had more health problems than he ever told me apparently). they think he was having trouble breathing, tried the treatment and then possibly had a heart attack in the middle of that. whatever it was, it was quick and that's the only saving grace in this whole situation. that it happened fast. i know my dad would have never put up with a long drawn out death. so in a way, it is a blessing. i was just expecting him to be around a lot longer.

being the only child is another interesting aspect to this whole situation. pretty much everything has come down on me... dealing with losing my father, taking care of calling people, meeting with lawyers, making arrangements, comforting my grandma and deb, the whole thing. luckily i have an amazing support system and debbie and my mom and aunt have been great. but it's just so much logistical stuff to deal with, that you don't even think about. i mean, all you really want to do is grieve, but instead you have to write obituaries and answer his phone messages left on his machine and go to the mortuary to get death certificates and go to banks to close accounts, etc, etc. it's just too much.

over a week has passed since this has been going on and i feel like the days are just dragging. last week literally feels like one of the longest weeks ever. just completely emotionally draining. i'm feeling ok now and i can't quite decide if i'm still in denial that it's happened or if i've just been too busy to think about it. probably a little of both.

without getting too seriously into my feelings about this, it's suffice to say that i have learned something very important... that friendships mean everything and after something like this, i really really know who my true friends are. i mean people came out of nowhere, telling me the nicest things, sending their sympathies, offering to help in any way they could, or just listening. even some of my new friends in NY have been amazingly sweet, simply saying they are thinking about me. i feel honored to have such a fantastic support system and truly great people in my life. simultaneously, you learn who you don't need in your life, when they are so self absorbed, they offer you nothing. people get weird in times of death i suppose. but jesus christ. all you need to do is listen and say "i'm sorry." that's it. it's not that hard.

we had a military memorial service for my dad yesterday. another intense event. i wasn't expecting it to be so military-ish, but it honestly was nice. he finally got the recognition and honor he deserved for serving in the viet nam war. maybe i'll save that for another entry. i'm here for at least another week, so i'm sure i'll share more when i feel the urge to write.
all i know is that i miss my daddy-o terribly and can't believe i will never see him or speak to him again and that just breaks my little heart. love you na.

BBBBRRRRRRRRRRR

ok, i just checked NY1 it's 16 degrees outside and almost as cold inside my apartment. i'm FREEZING. fuck you landlord! where is our goddamn HEAT???
i swear, i was just watching the news the other day seeing all these poor people in dumps with no heat, standing around the oven trying to stay warm. i just thought, "jesus, how awful. how are they dealing?" and literally the next day, it happens HERE! apparently the boiler is broken (the so-called new boiler they just fixed last month). but how long does it take to fix a fucking boiler?? we're so cold. i've got a little space heater sitting next to my computer which is doing an ok job. but my fingers are going numb as i type...but i've got to work. i have projects due.

we're now on day 2 of this. yesterday i attempted to take my new laptop to starbucks to work. i was under the impression that if you had an airport card in your computer, you could go to starbucks and get online. would have never gone to starfucks if that weren't the case (there are far more cuter little cafes in the neighborhood i would have rather gone). anyhow, i get there, buy my latte so i feel justified to sit in there, and set up shop. when i click to go online, i'm prompted by some t-mobile hotspot bullshit where i have to PAY to use the internet. i was so pissed. i didn't get it. i though you just go there and get online, no questions asked. so i asked the nice guy next to me with his laptop who was obviously online. "hey dude, what gives with paying for internet here?" "yeah, i know," he replies "i just shelled out $10 bucks to be online here. my heater is busted and i gotta work." HA!! same boat. i had to work and send emails too and i had trekked through the snow to get there and bought my damn latte... so i paid $6 for an hour online session. bastards. is anything in this world FREE??? fuck you starbucks.

NYE slideshow

if you want to see the pics from the NYE adventures in Joshua Tree, click here.
there are two (pretty sizeable) slideshows. one of NYE night and one of the days after. both songs were chosen for obvious reasons.
"hey ya" was our midnight theme song of the year. and if you can't figure out the other song...well...DUH.
ENJOY!

re-assessments

thanks to those of you who were so supportive during my little weekend fiasco. it was tough, but i made it though. just give it a couple days to settle, and things just get better. don't you just love that about life? and the more i think about, the more i realize it happened for a reason. i learned a few things about myself and where i am right now... and that's it's probably a good time to change a few things. like getting so wasted. it's really not a trend, but i feel a bit of a self destructive phase upon me (not that my self destructiveness has ever been that craaazy, but still). wanna gave a good bit of insight. she said that she felt herself going into those phases when she felt like she was entering into a bad pattern. one of those life patterns that we try to avoid, but inevitably end up getting into.
with this situation, it was being into a guy that was coming out of a serious relationship...AGAIN. enough already. i knew it was a bad idea...i saw the red flag, but i chose to go for it and started to really like the guy. sure enough, i learned my lesson, after one of the weirdest drama nights of my life, but still. it was hard getting to that conclusion, but i found what i needed to know in the end.

i feel so so much better today. i've learned that instead of stepping back before acting, to look within once i've already acted (again...thanks wanna!). i'm gonna do dumb stuff from time to time. no matter how much we think we're in control, shit still happens. and when it does, it's good to question why. this life is tough, but we always make it through. thank god for the old light at the end of the tunnel and those clouds with silver linings.

sorta back on track...sorta

sorry it's been so long. my travels and coming home to a huge amount of work has stiffled the blogging.
lots to tell, but can't quite get the steam going to write it all out. i'll give a semi-shot though.
had a fantastic trip in LA and fallbrook. xmas was nice, good to see the fam, so good to see the friends. made me really miss everyone but glad to know they are there and they love me. i love them too.

got home to freezing NY. nice to be back to the apartment, but i've hardly left the place, having piles of work to complete. still working on one website (due this week) and had a presentation thingie for the peeps in philly on friday. almost too much to handle, but it's all getting done. pats on the back.

the weekend was filled with the biggest drama of 2004 thus far and i pray that it doesn't get any worse for the rest of the year. i can't really get into the personal sorted details of what went down, but it involved getting way too drunk, making a complete ass of myself and inadvertently, screwing up some relationships. all day yesterday i hated myself. lots of tears were shed and it was time for a little self reflection. i still am not quite sure why i did what i did. i want to blame the booze, but it may have been something deeper. working on it.

all i know, is that i've got to lay off getting that drunk. it gives me poor judgement and makes me do things i wouldn't normally do.
i don't know if it's being in NY and thinking i can handle that much booze or if i'm just having a drunk phase or if i'm being self destructive for some reason.
whatever it is, i know i have to take a step back and think about my actions before i act.
new years resolution #1.

let love rule

upon entry into 29 palms, where 7 of us decided to spend out new year's eve and new year's day, i saw the sign to the harmony motel which read "LET LOVE RULE." it was totally fitting and i was excited to stay there. wanna had been once before and thought it would be perfect for our little new year gathering. a pretty random group was formed for the occassion...me, amy, wanna, sara, mark, gotton (our new japanese friend visiting from tokyo), and dj superstar j-logic (total surprise, but so stoked to have him with us). we rented the cabin which was its own separate place away from the rest of the motel. jeffrey, the motel owner greeted me when i arrived (i got there first, driving up from san diego). i could tell he was a super cool dude. he ran the place himself and there were all these groovy zenned out rock sculptures and subtle rock garden touches, complete with corragated steel and found wood fences around the pool and hot tub. the cabin was very modest, but was perfect for our needs. i was excited.
the rest of the crew showed up with tons of booze and food and we started the party right away. wanna concocted her traditional filipino new years stew and the booze guzzling was on. not sure how, but i got super tipsy early on and apparently everyone else was eager to catch up with me since i was in such high spirits. sara (bless her heart) set up the ipod and her fatty speakers and we partied into the new year in a majoy way. midnight rolled around, we all stepped outside to pull our party poppers and light our sparklers and pour our champagne. jeffrey joined us, along with a couple of wanna friends who showed up as well. outkast's "hey ya" was the midnight theme song and the dance party was on. it was so so so fun bouncing around and being dorks. a few minutes later, wanna pulled out the e and she talked sara and i into taking them. oh shit!

craziness ensued. i vaguely remember freakin with jeffrey the motel owner. sara said i was saying bullshit like "i feel soooo damn good right now." god, i hate those people and i was one of them. HA! and apparently i made out with the motel guy, of which i have absolutely no recollection. oops. i usually remember kissing dudes, but that combo of being very drunk and taking a pill is lethal. the next few hours are a complete blank. next thing i knew, a group of us had made our way to the hot tub. it was perfect outside. very chilly, the the sky could not have been more clear... completely dark with a million stars surrounding us. pretty soon, the rest of the party was in the hot tub. sara stripped down to her undies, and wanna jumped in topless. HAHAHA!! yep, we were all feeling damn good. it was fantastic.
the night ended with a late night ipod session by sara. she freakin rocked it. even dj superstar logic was impressed. so so so good! chet baker, some bleepy shit, i don't quite remember what else, but it was just so good.
morning time was harsh. we all woke up real late, made a big old breakfast in the cute community kitchen. i apologized to jeffrey for my behaviour, which he said "no need. i had a GREAT time with you guys." heh.
before sunset, we made our way into the joshua tree park. holy fuck. why had i never been there before? it was like another planet. we found jumbo rocks and climbed on up to view maybe the most beautiful sunset i've ever seen in my life. we all decided that seeing that sunset only meant we were all guaranteed an excellent 2004.
more chilling that night then another trip to JT the next day for more fun exploring. i loved our group. each and every one of them. so so lovely. we all got along swimmingly. no drama. only good times. love was definitley the ruler those couple days. the place, the setting, the people, the fun. couldn't have asked for a better new year. i think i'm blessed that way. here's to good things for all of us in '04!

best lessons learned: #1

growing up and figuring it all out, we learn some valuable life lessons. one of the best ones i've come to know as a really really good one is "don't burn any bridges." i've never been one to hold grudges. i watched my grandmother get so mad a various people in her life that she'd never speak to them again (usually over something really stupid)...one of which was her daughter. i can't imagine bringing a child into the world and then never speaking to them again! it's absurd really. so i think from seeing her do this to herself, i learned i never wanted to be that person.

don't get me wrong, if someone really gets to me, i have no problem weeding them out of the immediate circle. no need to spend time and stress over someone that is a crappy friend. BUT, let me stress that not burning bridges over the years has proven much more stress-free in the long haul. latest example... my old roommate josh. we lived together for 5 years in LA. 5 years!! that's a long time to spend with one person, knowing each other as intimately as you can without actually ever taking clothes off. the end of our journey together was not great. many fights ensued, complete with arguments over money to washing the dishes to criticisms over how we each choose to live our lives. the eventual "break-up" could have been bad, but we took the friendly path. i wasn't sure if we'd stay in touch, but how could you not after all those years?

today proved to be a good sign of doing the right thing in not burning that bridge. i saw josh in ichat and started a little conversation. we got right into what we always talked about...relationships. he had some great advice (surprisingly enough...guess i should have listened to him more in the past). AND, he's not giving me grief about the money he owes me! thought that would take more prodding. i'm gonna see him and the cat we got together this weekend. and i'm actually looking forward to it. who knew?

other excellent examples have been work situations. every single job that i've hated and left, has always been on a good note. and you know what... most all of those former employers have either given me great recommendations or gotten me my next job.
just goes to show.

i love LA...

but i have no desire to move back any time soon. it was a little trippy going back after 3 months and not having my own home to go to. but it felt like the same old familiar place i've known so intimately for the last 7 or so years. kinda like getting reacquainted with an old boyfriend. you know all his special secrets and feel really comfortable, but you really don't want to get back together. i've decided that for the time being, LA is a great place to visit. it's got all my old favorite spots and restaurants that i'm so fond of, and it's got all my favorite people that know me best. but on this trip, i've discovered that i'm really excited to go back to my new home. i don't have that familiarity there. it's all a bit of a crap shoot. i look forward to getting back to my little apartment with only 10 boxes worth of my stuff. to my new acquaintances, that i look forward to getting to know better. and to new discoveries. familiarity can be good, but newness is what's on my mind for 2004.

highlights of the weekend in LA include...time spent with wanna, dinner at alegria (do miss that mexican food!), soundlessons patio and running into the old club buddies, brunch and walk on the beach with ariel, andreas, wanna and richard, treating myself to a korean spa "goddess massage," dinner at taix, and breakfast this morning at tropical. got all my favorite restaurants in. and a good chunk of my favorite people.

today was dealing with my storage space. met my dad at the place, loaded up the truck, then down to fallbrook where we had to make 7+ trips in a pick-up to deliver the shit from big truck to the garage up the windy hill. pain in ass, but it all went much more smoothly than i had anticipated. i had less stuff than i remembered and most of it was crap. why did i hold on to that shitty furniture? gotta get rid of it. i don't miss any of it. only my records, stereo, books and photos. would love to have that stuff with me in NY, but i don't think it's going to happen. maybe the stereo. we'll see. just glad it's done. now i can focus on fun and NYE which is shaping up to be quite promising. all my favorite people in a nature-y place i've never been. no expectations either. perfect.

smallbrook christmas

sitting here in my mom's living room, getting my fill of mtv. nice! i love cable at my mom's. feels like a real vacation.

arrived in LA xmas eve. mom, aunt barb and uncle bob picked me up and we drove down to fallbrook. had my first xmas ever with the two separated families together (that hadn't happened since i was about 4 years old). i had a bad feeling about it...thought it might be really weird. my family has definitely gone through ups and downs, getting along sometimes and not at all other times. apparently my grandmother (dad's mom) was thrilled that my mother suggested the two families getting together for the holiday. that was a good sign. sometimes, she's just the worst to my mom's family.

my mom was stressed out, trying to make sure everyone was getting along. the crowd consisted of me, mom's side: mom, aunt, uncle and dad's side: dad, grandma and dad's ex-wife/sort of partner (don't ask). surprisingly, everyone was in very good spirits. the dinner was great. got some good prezzies. even got a little tipsy. being the only child of the entire family is always joyous (i'm talking sarcasm here). and now that i'm not around as much, they had to make it an especially big deal that i was home and the light in all of their lives. it's nice, don't get me wrong...but can be a little tiresome.

my grandmother even brought every postcard i've ever written her over the years and made me recite them to everyone. so embarrassing. a sweet gesture, but come on now.

all in all, it was a nice day. i was happy to be with and see everyone and it was especially nice not to have to break up the day...going from one families' house to the other. very thankful for that!

LA tomorrow. YAY!

screw it

just wrote the longest post ever.
of course i closed the window on accident.
par for the freakin course today. i can't talk about it anymore.
mercury in retrograde has completely taken over!
fuck.

weekend = great, today = not so much

i honestly don't have much to complain about at this point in my life.
things are going remarkably well for me here. my new life change has brought good things. i feel like i'm still learning everyday.
i'm still in exploration mode. of course i don't have it all figured out yet. i'm just feeling it all out, making decisions at will and good karma or something has made most all of it a-ok. i must remind myself of these things.

my weekend couldn't have been better. except for the fact that i was in procrastination mode with my work (which weighed a little on me). but besides that i had a fantastic time. here's the gist:

friday night was the continuation of the LOTR trilogy. my friend matt towers organized the whole thing. got us tickets for the 2 fridays prior to the opening of the return of the kind...they were showing the extended versions of FOTR and TT each consecutive friday. we sat right next to michael moore! i gave him props in a pretty lame way. but i had to say something.

saturday met up with amy's old dear friend (and my new friend) danny. he told me about this play thing...kids ages 9 to 11 wrote short plays that adults acted out. sounded like a cool idea. i rode the elevator up to the 4th floor with martha plimpton who mentioned she had to hurry because she was in the play. i couldn't help but look at her and think "that bitch got to fuck river." just so happened that she was one of the best actors in the plays. super funny. the whole thing was a hoot. loved watching those kids see their plays put on. it got me all choked up.

we had some time to kill and decided to brave the crowds and go to macys. we were on a flask mission. it was total holiday insanity. pretty amusing actually, when you didn't really have to buy anything. made our way up to santa's village, to see "the real santa" as advertised. took some funny pics of each other posing with the elves and santa himself.

next was what danny and i deemed "the boombox parade." read all about it here. it was freezing outside but super fun and christmasy. it was awesome and i liked it.

then it was off to williamsburg to this. it was weird, but kinda hysterical. only in NY man. that show would have never happened in LA. i can guarantee.

sunday was some work and preparations for jessica's friends' holiday party. great food (turkey, ham, stuffing, mashed potatoes, all the fixins), nice new people, a christmas tree in the living room, secret santa prezzies, the whole nine. good times.

monday, got an email from "crush boy." got v. excited. hadn't heard from him for a bit as he was out of town. we made plans for today which got me all a-twitter. i haven't been stoked on a dude in so long. i'm sure i've built some fantasy thing in my head...but i do feel something for this one eventhough i don't know him so well. call it a gut instinct (and that's what worries me...i'm jinxing it). anyway, i had a bit of my nervous stomach thing and a pretty sleepless night thinking about the meeting. and what do you know...
got the call this morning. he's bed-ridden. so so ill. poor guy sounded awful. but of course it made me feel awful. this sounds so fucking stupid, but i feel like i've miraculously contracted his illness as i started to feel a little shitty later on. HA! i'm sure it's a combo of being bummed and over-tired. i'll get over it. just being dramatic i think.

the way i did make the crappy day ok though was i ordered myself my xmas/business write-off prezzie. a new G4 12" powerbook w/superdrive! so stoked!!
there's an upside to everything i suppose.

hangovers suck!

yesterday was a complete waste because of my stupidity the night before.
i honestly don't know how it happened, but i managed to get trolleyed (as my british friend lucy likes to call it).
i met with her to go to rude movements to see dj jazzy jeff play.
it was packed and so much fun! he played all the classics, seamlessly woven together. very nice!
ended up talking to and dancing with some nice guy. had some drinks. more talking. more dancing. more drinks. and so on.
i didn't even realize i was so buzzed until i went outside with mr. nice guy.
he offered to give me a ride home, which i gladly expected. no cab fee sounded good to me at that point.
went outside, only to find his car had been towed. second time i'd seen that in the meat packing district. bastards.
felt sorry for the guy, so i let him crash at my pad. and honestly, not a whole lot happened because i was too out of it to deal (and have had someone else on my mind--let's just call him "crush boy").
i was planning on waking up early the next day to get going on my new project but it didn't happen.
the whole day was shot to shit.
greg poth came over and we had a nice vietnamese dinner. watched some bad tv and called it a night.
fucking booze man.
NY city will do it to you.
i didn't want to believe the hype, but it's looking like the longer you live here, the more you drink.

bloginality

this is sorta silly, but kinda fun:

my Bloginality is INFP!!!

happy day

today was a good day. nope, a great day.
first, i got a call from the director of a new film that is going to the Sundance Film Festival.
i met with him last week to talk about creating a website for his film. i watched the movie and it's actually pretty good. stars joe pantoliano (from "the sapranos" and "memento") and jennifer tilley. anyway, i sent him the proposal yesterday and got the "go ahead" call today! YES!!! he apparently loved my proposal. i think i'm finally getting good at this stuff. it's all about practice, persistence and confidence (oh, and encouragement from your friends when you're not feeling so confident... big thanks goes to amy for her help yesterday!!).

i just got back from a brainstorming lunch session with the m. night movie marketing people in rockafellar center. that was rad. i feel so damn legit, it's weird. approval for a new cool project and a "power lunch" uptown. HA! new york city baby. i'm doing it. and loving it. let's hope i can keep up with this crazy pace.

out of curiousity

i'm wondering how many of you are actually reading this here blog?
i'd love to get some sort of head count...as i'm still wondering if i should shell out the dough for a fancy blog situation (i'm starting to detest this ugly ass blog template).
please email me and let me know!

new pics

hey friends...
i just uploaded some a fresh batch in the photo section.
i know it's still ghetto (no slide show). i'm still pondering whether or not i should go full out and get some real blogging software (complete with photo slide show screens).
until i decide, you're gonna have to deal with the ghetto version.
be sure to check the "snow" folder (pics i took yesterday and last night of our crazy little snow storm going on here).
there are also a few new ones in "friends," "me," and "home" if you're interested.
enjoy!
new pics

cabbage soup

forgot to mention.
last week, with amy here and all the eating out and the beginnings of the holidays, i ate like a fucking pig. pizza, sweets, all that turkey, not to mention the insane amounts of booze i put in my body. let's just say, i felt like a bloated slob. and put on a couple too.
jessica was feeling the same way and suggested we do the famous cabbage soup diet. if you know me, you know i'm really not one for dieting. let along reading the ingredients that goes into the shit i put in my body. if i want it, i eat it. i did do that cleanse once and actually liked it and thought it'd be a good idea to do this before xmas binging.
i'm on day 5 and have to say i feel pretty good. i've fudged a little. instead of tomatoes today, i had peppers and broccoli. instead of skim milk yesterday, i had soy milk. whatever. good thing is i haven't had any bread. the energy level has been really good and i actually lost about 4 pounds! not that i really needed to lose much, but a few pounds never hurt.

when i told my mom i was doing this thing and she exclaimed "the cabbage soup diet! i used to do that. it's been around forever. but it makes you constipated and gives you bad gas." no constipation for me...but she was right about the gas. heh. good thing i work at home.

the amazing, the sensational...lypsinka!

jessica had free equity tickets to see some show last night and asked if i wanted to go. "what kind of show?" i asked. when she sent me the link for lypsinka i knew i had to go. come on now, a crazy guy in drag doing song and dance numbers, all lip synced? how could i not? i mean i was the girl who was dying to get on the shows "puttin on the hits" and mtv's "lip service." i LIVE for lip syncing!

so i met jess at the off-broadway theater in the west village. come to think of it, this was the first theatrical show i'd been to since i moved here, so i was kinda excited. the theater was decent sized, but the seats were ridiculously close to each other. poor jessica was pratically spread eagle to fit her long legs in there. the show started in typical drag form...lypsinka came out and did her couple numbers in some fabulous 40s gown, hair and make-up done to a tee. pretty funny. my favorite bits were when she lipped along to these instructional audio records about how to be the perfect woman...what to wear, how to apply make-up, etc. her expressions were so on point! the other good gimmick was she would splice together little bits of dialogue from campy films and would answer a pretend phone, shouting the dialogue to the imaginary person on the other end. man, how i wished i could have named all those references! i got the few obvious ones, like "whatever happened to baby jane" and "mommy dearest" (the gay classics), but there were so many i didn't know. i would have loved to have had a reference list given out. so many great songs i would have loved to have known as well.

the classic that had me in stitches at the end was a version of "the 12 days of christmas" sung by this ridiculously drunk woman...a la lucille ball. by the end it was "...and a bird on a tree with a leafy thing hanging off..." you HAD to hear it! i was laughing so hard i was crying.

over a week

yikes. i just realized it's been over a week since i've written. and in all honesty, it's been due to my busy schedule this week and my visitor last week. both things, good things. amy's visit was fantastic. was really great to have her here. we did it up. dinners, dancing, shopping, and drinking. oh the drinking. i think the highlight of her trip was the night we went out to brooklyn to my new favorite bar. yes, i trekked out to brooklyn to go to a bar. so sue me. i love that place. if i could find a cheap apt. right next door to this place, i think i'd move. it's just got "megan vibe" all over it. started the night at a restaurant with sake and beer. made our way to the bar and got the $5 mojitos. they were so good. the music was so good. our little spot on the couch downstairs was just perfect. a few mojitos later and we were WASTED! the perfect buzz though...just cracking up at ourselves all night. more taking digi pics of each other and laughing uncontrollably at every single one. managed to get off the couch and dance very sloppily on the little dance floor to the latin sounds. so great!

another highlight was thanksgiving of course. a good crew of us made it out to vicki's parents' place in westchester county. so beautiful out there. her family was great and put on the whole spread. after dinner, the musical theater kids did some singing around the piano. i loved that. reminded me of the old days at grandma hill's doing the same thing.
friday night was an antibalas show (and my new friend zak opened for them). that was super fun...love that band. amy and i did our sabada african routine and got a bunch of people in the crowd excited. not to mention the drummer in the band who wanted to put us on the guestlist the next night to come up on stage and perform. that didn't happen, but it was a sweet compliment.
and sunday was board game night with jeffrey, shioban, amy and her old friend danny, who i'd never met. played a little battle of the sexes and cranium. two games which i'd never played and loved both! the boys won battle and the girls won cranium! just proved that we were smarter all around and they were better at the dumb girly questions. haha.

amy left on monday. i got a message to go check out antibalas again for a free show at a book release party right by my house. got talked into going (was thinking i shouldn't because of the 7:30am train to philly i had to be on the next morning). glad i did though. there was free booze a-plenty. started with the red wine. then moved on to the lethal whisky. oh man. the band played. i danced and thoroughly enjoyed myself. once the band finished, craziness ensued. no more details necessary. email me if you want the juicy bits.
basically, getting on that 7:30am train almost killed me. i really wanted to die. the day in philly went OK. now i'm back. so much work to do. a couple little projects on top of the big project and a meeting for another project later today in jersery. i'm a roll.